Tuesday, February 5, 2013

A Poster On The Wall, Perhaps

Time for a little refresher course, seeing as how we are five-and-a-half months removed from the first day of school. Take notes if necessary. We don't want things to spin out of control on the downhill slide to the last day. Keep a civil head.

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1. Absentee slips are for picking up when you enter the building. Not for traipsing to retrieve during class time.

2. Pencils are for bringing to class. Not for leaving in your locker.

3. Uncomfortable silences hurt no one.

4. Lotion is for leaving in your purse. Not for slathering on in Mrs. Hillbilly Mom's classroom to give her an afternoon of watery eyes and dripping nose and oft-cleared throat.

5. Whisper-shouting, "Muffin-top alert! Muffin-top alert!" is not considered polite. Especially when you mean, "Crack alert! Crack alert!"

6. The fact that guys in the row behind you are whisper-shouting, "Muffin-top alert! Muffin-top alert!" does not mean they are calling you fat. Especially when you are an average-sized dude.

7. Returned assignments are for stashing in your book, or throwing away. Not for hoarding in the desk indefinitely.

8. Flat-topped desks are surfaces for classwork, arm resting, and lotion-harboring-purse setting. Not for heads laid down to sleep. They are not ergonomically sound for catching the every-approaching ZZZZZZs.

9. The chair is the part that moves back and forward when you sit. Not the desk.

10. Partner work refers to two individuals learning together. Not six individuals having a heyday.

11. Stating, "I'm already done!" when told to turn away from your illicit extra four partners does NOT strengthen your case.

12. Soda and water bottles are made for draining in the cafeteria, then depositing in the trash can. Not for hauling into my room and popping the lid off by squeezing.

13. Thumbs are made for hitchhiking, pointing up to show approval/down to show disapproval, and blaming unpleasant actions of yours on the person next to you. Not for scraping the dry-erase marker instructions off my whiteboard.

14. Australian narrators sometimes pronounce words differently that we do. There are NOT many species of Carl on the ocean bottom being devoured by fish.

15. Rules are for observing. Not for scoffing at, breaking, bending, or ignoring.

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No need to expound at length. This list is just from today. We are in for a turbulent March.

2 comments:

Sioux said...

16. Noses are to breathe through. They are not opportunities for endless mining expeditions.

17. Pencils are for writing. They are not to be used to rationalize getting up and wandering around the room 142 times a day.

18. Jumbo paper clips are not meant to be straightened out into weapons. They're for holding papers together. Really.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
Which reminds me...

19. Paper clips are not to be used as braces, no matter how cute you think they make you look. They're for holding papers together. For sure.