Tuesday, December 31, 2013

I'd Let Him Call Me The Cat's Pajamas If He Wanted To

Hey! Just when you think you've seen it all...

Who needs a new pair of Crocs?

Not me. I'm already nearing my limit of ways to embarrass my offspring. Just last week I was told I cannot use the phrase, "all up in my bidness" anymore. Can you believe it? Tina Fey and Amy Poehler say it. But I'm not allowed. I guess it will go the way of "redonkulous," on the tip of my sharp tongue, ready to be drawn at an inopportune time when somebody needs place-putting.

Just today, I was lamenting my forgetfulness after pulling out of the Save A Lot parking lot. "Darn. I forgot to buy buns. And bacon. I was going to get bacon specifically for #1, because he says he can't afford it at college unless his three roommates chip in with him."

We drove by a Burger King. Two guys were pushing tall metal carts from a whole-grain bread truck toward the back door. "Look, Mom! There are the buns you forgot! I guess you could grab some...of...them."

"Yes! Thanks so much for suggesting that I grab someone's buns on the Burger King parking lot! I can't wait to grab someone's buns. I live for that, bun-grabbing."

"Errrr..."

"What? It was YOUR idea? Do you mean to tell me you don't want me talking about grabbing someone's buns on the Burger King parking lot? I bet if one of your friends said it, you'd think it was hilarious."

"I would. Because they're my friends. They're my age. So it's okay."

"That doesn't seem right. I guess next thing I know, you'll be all right with your friends saying you're all up in their bidness. And it's redonkulous."

"Yeah. Kids can say that. You can't."

Huh. Such a double standard. I suppose his friends will be wearing those Crocs, too.

4 comments:

Sioux said...

Those phrases that are off-limits when it comes to parents' usage are a great way to get revenge.

Your child didn't do their chores/didn't genuflect at the sight of you/didn't get you a Christmas present? Talk that hipster talk around your kid's friends. Your son will immediately crawl into the nearest hole as they're showered by jeers from their peers.

Then you'll have some "bidness" to talk about later on...

And by the way, I saw that Crocs and Nike have merged on a pair of shoes/line of shoes. I cannot wait...

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
Now you won't have an excuse not to buy the Crocs. Just Do It.

I don't know where these young whippersnappers get off, thinking they have cornered the market on certain expressions. They wouldn't even know about them if not for the snazzy electronic gewgaws we oldsters provide for them.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Even I think crocs on heels is just wrong! I don't do heels anymore, I am afraid I will fall off and get hurt. Okay, parents cannot say things and do things that kids find embarrassing. Grandparents can. A generation, once removed is very forgiving and find our silliness endearing.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Kathy,
Yeah. Who need to look good when you can be sturdy? You're right. My boys would never their grandma she's not allowed to use certain words or phrases.