Tuesday, December 17, 2013

When It Snows, It Pours

No good deed goes unpunished. No attempted good deed goes without an aerobic workout.

This morning I hauled my world famous Chex Mix to school to dole out to the worthy and unworthy. It's a holiday habit. If I was smart, which is debated fairly regularly around the Mansion, I would wait until the last half hour before early dismissal for Christmas break. That would put a stop to all of the begging for extras. "Please, Mrs. Hillbilly Mom...may I have some more?" However, you never know when a surprise snow day or six or seven might disrupt the best-laid plans of Mrs. Hillbilly Mom.

First cat out of the bag, we had to leave later for school. The initial recipients of my golden fodder do not arrive at work until 7:30. We waited in the parking lot. I sent in The Pony the minute the door was unlocked. Three tubs gone. The next two gifting subjects should really have been there at 7:20. At least one of them. That's the time students are allowed to enter the building. But no. We waited some more. At 7:35 we had to high-tail it from Basementia to Newmentia, where the clocks they are a-runnin' ever faster. In fact, the one on my wall told me it was 7:45 when I walked in. That is a good 20 minutes past Mrs. Hillbilly Mom's usual arrival time. I was rushed.

On my plan time, instead of grading the tests from 1st Hour, I delivered more crunchy goodness. And wouldn't you know it...a representative from Basementia was hanging about, and offered to take those two undelivered tubs off my hands. Which was considerate, really, except that I had to walk out to T-Hoe to get them, having planned on driving back there after school. So I hiked outside, and wouldn't you know it, my entry code did not work, even though I am 100% positive that I used the correct numbers and symbols. So the secretary had to buzz me in. After handing over the goody goods, I was asked by the secretary if I was doing anything. Huh.

"I was going to run copies, but I heard the machine going. So I might have a few minutes. Why?"

"Could you do something for me?"

Let the record show that Mrs. Hillbilly Mom is not exactly a volunteer. "I don't know. Does it involve aerobic activity? Anything that requires bifocals? Because I still don't have the ones I ordered on November 15th."

"No. It's not hard. Here. We're going to open up the old Snow Day Sweepstakes box from a few years ago, when people bought chances on the first snow day, but we had a snow day, and the money didn't get awarded. We're going to donate it for Christmas."

"Okay. I guess I can count money without seeing."

It's not like I didn't have anything better to do, you know. But Mrs. Hillbilly Mom is a people pleaser.

I hope my best old ex-teaching buddy Mabel did not want her two dollars back!


Sioux's Page said...

Perhaps you can set up your own charity, and then people could donate money to YOU as a holiday gesture.

I donated to The Human Fund last Christmas. I'm still waiting to find out just exactly how the money is spent.

Hopefully NOT on draping the director in velvet...

Hillbilly Mom said...

Maybe The Human Fund supplies hand models with oven mitts, so they don't damage their livelihood.