Thursday, June 19, 2014

I Want To Fly My Hot Air Balloon Over The Airport

Tap! Tap! Tap! Is this thing on?

Greetings, fellow Hillmombans. I have called you here today to gather at the foot of my soapbox in order to discuss the imminent collapse of society. Don't forget to pick up a flier advertising my proposed handbasket factory on your way out.

Two recent articles in the Hillmomba Daily News have necessitated this meeting. Not so much the reportage of the news, but the readers' reactions.

Story 1: A local businessman was bowled over on his bicycle Monday morning. He was riding on the road for exercise, and a woman pulled out of a side road and knocked him over. He was taken to a local Hillmomba hospital, where he was treated for minor injuries. Knowing the area, and the orientation of the roads, it is apparent that the woman was facing east, and turned south as she pulled out. That means, at 6:55 in the morning, she was facing into the fiery sun. Perhaps her windshield had a glaze of dust that caused a glare. How many of us are looking for two-wheeled exercisers when we pull out onto a road? I know that I am looking for a vehicle that might smite me to smithereens, so I wait my turn.

Here's the thing. A lady wrote a comment that she travels through the area several times a week and there are sometimes bicyclers on the roadway. "It is dangerous," she said. "What if I come up over a hill and there's a bicycle in the road, and I don't have time to stop? The bicycler is going to be injured. They should be more careful about where they ride."

Before that internet ink had dried, a new commenter snidely declared that bicycles have as much right to the road as cars, and if this commenting lady was going too fast to avoid a bicycle, she needs to slow down. Seriously? Are we all supposed to drive 10 mph on all roads just in case there might be a bicycle over the next hill, or around the next curve?

I don't think bicycles should have the same right to the road as automobiles. Are bicycle riders licensed? Nope. Are bicycles allowed on highway right-of-ways? Nope. Even though cars don't drive on the right-of-way. So why should bicycles be allowed on the actual roadways, many without even a shoulder? Twisty winding curving roller-coaster roadways. It's not like these riders are all using their bicycles as a means of getting to work. They are exercising. Go to a gosh-darn bike trail that does not allow cars.

We will now have a short intermission before the next story and its accompanying soapbox sermon. Feel free to stretch your legs. I have set up a lemonade stand and a dill pickle barrel for your snack needs. Hillmomba is a land flowing with lemonade and dill pickles.

We will reconvene shortly.


Sioux said...

Hey, those bikers will get better exercise (their heartrate will get higher) when they hear the roar of the engines and the squealing of tires right behind them.

Let the bikes and the cars share the road. Instead of "Run, Forest, run!" it will be "Pedal, biker, pedal!"

Hillbilly Mom said...

Or in my case, "Loft, Ballooner, Loft!"