My favorite aunt called me today. My gambling aunt. We've been out of touch since she retired. I had to catch her up on my recent unfortunate hospitalization. She was howling. "You really need to write about this. I love your stories." Uh huh. At least I don't have to worry about her getting a T-shirt that says, My niece went to the hospital, and all I got was this lousy story.
The Gambler said she hoped I was feeling better after my blood clots. She had a second hip replacement a few months ago, so she is no stranger to the blood thinners. I told her how the littlest things tire me out. Like going to The Devil's Playground without my little Pony helper. "Oh, that store is SO spread out. The cat food is all the way against the back wall! I bought it at the grocery store the other day, but it cost twice as much. You need to ride that wheelchair cart in The Devil's Playground. That's what I did. But be careful. I knocked over a whole display of socks. So then I backed up, and apparently I bumped into something else. Because a lady ran after me and said, 'Did you know you're dragging a robe?' I drove all through the store with a woman's robe hooked onto the back of that wheelchair cart!"
We have a lot of catching up to do. She always knows the best gossip. And she hates to cook for herself. "We need to go to lunch one day."
"Okay. But I think I should drive. You know, because I'm on blood-thinners, and I don't want to die, and I don't want to get pulled over for dragging a woman's robe behind the car."