Monday, June 16, 2014

Mrs. Hillbilly Mom Will Not Be Investing In Livestock Or Auction Meat

If you are a regular visitor to the Mansion, you might recall that Mrs. Hillbilly Mom likes to play the scratch-off tickets. One year, after receiving ten dollars worth of tickets from her best ol' ex-teaching buddy Mabel as part of her birthday gift, Mrs. HM was able to stretch her winning streak well into June by cashing in her spoils. Let the record show that Mrs. HM has a winter birthday.

My luck has been holding out for a month or two. Excuse me. I must go knock on every wooden surface available, lest I jinx myself. Just last week, I had a $1000 winner on a five-dollar ticket. Not too shabby. It has been mailed to the powers who pay, along with proper documentation so government entities can get their cut. This is not the first time Mrs. Hillbilly Mom has won $1000. Nor the second. Nor the third.

Free money has a way of disappearing fairly quickly around here. The first time, I bought the #1 son a laptop. The second time, I bought myself a laptop. The third time, the cash went into the pot for general bill-paying. I'm not sure what will happen with this windfall. Let's call it a breezefall.

Farmer H was not as impressed as I would have liked. You know, with my skill and all that it took to find that big winner. He looked at it and said, "Hmpf. You won a thousand dollars? Why don't you win five hundred thousand dollars?" As if it's that easy. I don't see him carting wheelbarrowfulls of free money into the Mansion. Oh, and he said, "You're buying me a pair of work boots." It seems like only a few short months ago that I was buying Farmer H shoe inserts from the Good Feet Store that cost more than I will garner from this winning ticket. AND a pair of boots. But if boots he wants, boots he shall get. That comes out of the general fund, not my winnings.

At least my hobby doesn't poop all over the porch.

4 comments:

Sioux said...

So if you could spend the $1000 in a crazy, impulsive way, how would you spend it?

(I hear Viggo is available for rental. He could be your poolio boy.)

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
You can save your pennies for Viggo. I will not come between you two.

I don't really have a crazy impulsive way to spend it. Some will go back into scratch-off tickets. Some will buy a pair of work boots. The rest will probably be frittered away on medical bills or The Good Feet Store.

Yes. I lack imagination. I might use a bit to enter some writing contests.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Now I want to go buy a scratch off! I think you should stash it away until you have a frivolous idea.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Kathy,
I haven't got the cold hard cash in my hot sweaty hands yet. I'm sure the check is in the mail.