Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Mrs. Hillbilly Mom Almost Sets A Precedent For Missouri

Today I went to a city doctor. According to my primary care provider, there are no doctors in Hillmomba who do the same work this doctor does. I cry shenanigans! What he meant was, perhaps, that no doctors in his network in Hillmomba do this job.

Anyhoo, there I was, not exactly layin' back in a satin dress, but certainly in a room where you do what you don't confess. Oh, what I would have given for a satin dress! Or any dress.

After the exam, the nurse took me to the conference room. "Are you here with anyone? Do you want them to come in?"

HM: "Yes. My husband. His name is Farmer H."

Nurse: "Okay. I'll go get him."

I heard her go out and call "Farmer H." The next thing I knew, I was like a display in a living history exhibit. A short, rotund lady (SRL) waddled to the door. She looked at me. She looked down the hall. She said, "Room One? There's somebody already in here."

Nurse: "I know. And I brought you in."

The short, rotund lady came back to look again. "I don't think I belong in here."

HM: "No. This is not my husband."

Nurse: "Well, what is your name?"

SRL: "Charmer Rach."

Nurse: "Oh! I called for Farmer H!"

Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I was certainly not prepared this afternoon to deal with my new wife.


Sioux said...

If you had a new wife, she might do some of your unfavorite jobs around the house (while she listens to Gordon Lightfoot).

Kathy's Klothesline said...

I have always wanted a wife ..... a maid would charge too much.

Hillbilly Mom said...

If I had a new wife, she might warm food in the oven or heat it up in the microwave for me! While still listening to Gordon Lightfoot.

Plus, you don't have to buy that uniform.