Friday, January 2, 2015

Hillbilly Mansion: Where Things Go To Die

Oh, dear. I don't want to start off 2015 with the Hillbilly Mansion getting the reputation of being the place where things come to die. But we have our second casualty. No cute picture today. It just happened about an hour ago.

This morning, The #1 son slept in past 10:00. He's been getting up around 8:30, same as me. We purely love sleeping in around here, with no rat race to rush off to. Problem is, #1 decides to hop in the shower right when I want to hop in the shower. It's not like we have to use the same one. But we have to use the same pipes.

The #1 son likes a hot shower. For about 40 minutes. Which, as you might imagine, throws a monkey wrench into Mrs. Hillbilly Mom's shower plans. Well water is quite chilly, and it takes a while for the water heater to heat the water. Sometimes, I hear #1 get in, and I run in to steal away some warm water for 10 minutes. That's as long as it takes me. So what if he has to shorten his boiling by a few minutes. I pay the bills here, not him.

So this morning, I made sure he was okay, what with his broken crown issues and all. Yes. He was awake. Oriented. But he still wanted to snooze. Far be it from me to roll that boy out of bed. I ran to the shower at 10:30. More hot water for me, haha! Only not.

The water was warm when I stepped in. I'm not one to let it run for ten minutes while I sit on the toilet, like both The Pony and #1 seem wont to do. The water seemed to get cooler. Or I was getting used to the temperature. I turned it hotter. Barely noticeable. Then it got cooler. By now, I was ready for a final rinse. I cranked that knob all the way to HOT so I could get out with a nice warm glow. But no. Barely warm. I turned it off. Listened to see if I could hear water in the pipes. Maybe #1 had pulled my trick, and jumped in his shower as soon as I left. Nope. Further investigation revealed #1 still asleep.

I sent Farmer H a text. "We need a new water heater. I took a shower without even #1 interrupting, and it was barely warm. I cannot go through winter without a hot shower. This water heater is 16 years old. Every two years, you drag it outside and dig the stuffings out of the bottom. I think we can afford a new water heater." Yeah. I AM a bit long-winded in my texts.

Farmer H sent back that he would fix the water heater. He came home and went right to work. "I got a new heating element. It always goes bad because of the hard water and lime buildup. I'll take it out and put in the new element. Take about an hour." He called for his Pony, who had to change out of his dress slacks first. They set to work.

One hour later..."I'm going down to Lowe's for a new water heater. I can't get that one back in."

Yes. Ding dong, the water heater's dead. Which old water heater? The original old water heater. Ding dong, the water heater's dead.

One of these days, Farmer H is going to take my advice, and do something the right way the first time. He had The Pony's truck with him at work. He could have picked up a water heater between work and home, and installed it in less than an hour. So now he's taken his little helper down to Lowe's. They've been gone 90 minutes. Still have to install it when they get back.

It's a good thing Mrs. Hillbilly Mom is not dirty.


Sioux said...

I think you should take a 2nd shower today, so you can be the first one... you can christen the new water heater.

Why would you expect a man to listen to a woman's logic? They have to scratch and sniff first, they have to repeatedly "adjust" themselves, they have to drink some soda/beer and THEN they make a decision...but it was THEIR idea and not yours...

Hillbilly Mom said...

I should have learned by now that a man will not listen to a woman's logic. Like when I told the Little General who is in charge of all things heating and cooling at work that I don't think it's very efficient for the thermostat to run on two degrees difference. You know, like when it gets to 70, the heat kicks on, but when it gets heated to 72, the air conditioner comes on.

That just doesn't make sense, you know, and is wasteful. So if the temp outside is 60, but my kids' body heat bumps that room up to 72, we get air conditioning. When I could just as easily open up the window until it cools down a bit, but that's FORBIDDEN!

And do you know what he told me, the Little General? "Mrs. Hillbilly Mom, the thermostat does not know what the temperature is outside."

It's a wonder I have any hair left after pulling it out by the roots so often.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

I sympathize. Not about the hot water (or, lack of hot water). You could still flush and get water to your animals without using bottled water. No, I am referring to the husband. I truly feel your angst!

Hillbilly Mom said...

Heh,heh. I KNEW you would feel my pain. Those fix-it (and fix-it again and fix-it AGAIN) men do have a way of getting under one's skin.