Tie A Tasty Pork Chop ‘Round That Equine’s Neck

Today I had to rush over to the hospital as soon as school was out so that I could meet with my sister the ex-mayor’s wife and the hospital patient care representative. We had to ask Mom which rehab she wanted to be transferred to in order to gain back her strength and sassiness. Problem was, The Pony had an event after school. Perhaps I’ve mentioned that he won’t practice to get his driver’s license.

How do you solve a problem like The Pony cooling his heels at school for hour upon hour until Mrs. Hillbilly Mom could get back to get him? He wasn’t in any danger. There was a basketball game going on. Of course The Pony would never actually GO to a basketball game. He would sit in Mrs. HM’s classroom with the light out, working on his laptop until someone came to take him away from all that.

But wait! We had a secret weapon! The #1 son home from college. Not that he would volunteer for Pony duty. So…I explained the situation. How I knew that it would take a portion out of #1’s busy schedule of messing up the kitchen and sleeping. He was very understanding. The minute I threw in $20 to defray the cost of gas, and provide a Little Caesar’s pizza, he was on board.

I feel kind of like that’s tying a pork chop around an unpopular kid’s neck just so the dog will play with him. But not exactly. At least I discovered how to get #1 to pick him up from school.

Tie a Little Caesar’s ‘round The Pony’s neck. I might even write a song about it, to be performed by Mrs. Hillbilly Mom’s very own garage band, Mommy’s Got a Headache.