Thursday, January 8, 2015

If I Was A Member Of A Boy Band, I Would Name It 28 Degrees

Wheeee doggies!

It's colder than a Wiccan's teat in a metal brassiere! All day long I've been freezing in my control center, back in the corner of my classroom right in front of a window. That window is not very weatherproofed. My feet were blocks of ice. I wore my old blue and black plaid flannel CPO-type jacket that I stole from Farmer H about 10 years ago. We don't have a very strict dress code at Newmentia. I need to get some of those insulated boots that military troops wear in the arctic. And a cap with ear flaps, maybe bright orange. And one of those mummy sleeping bags with the hood.

The lunch table was not much better. It sits right in the middle of the jet stream, apparently. A wind comes whipping down the main aisle by the kitchen to rival that whipping wind of the plains of Oklahoma. Maybe I'll write a song about it. That might warm me up. The shivering did not. I ate my lunch as fast as I could, so I could shove my hands into the opposite sleeves of my stolen CPO jacket and warm them on my goose-pimpled forearms. It's a wonder my nose didn't drop off from frostbite.

I swear, I could have easily gone unobserved if I had wandered into the middle of a performance by Blue Man Group.

5 comments:

Sioux said...

What is a CPO jacket? (I'm sorry I'm so ignorant.)

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
Oh, dear. I should have known, Madam, that a spring chicken such as yourself would have no idea what such a vintage article of clothing would look like.

http://www.vintagetrends.com/thumbnails_/lot/680/680-1816.jpg

Let the record show that the one I liberated from Farmer H is of the navy/black plaid hue.

Sioux said...

Aaah. Now I know that I know the jacket--having seen them millions of times--but am still perplexed. What does CPO stand for? Either the official version or the HM version...

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Having lived a decade in Minnesota, and most of my life in South Georgia, I know a thing or two about staying warm. You need to get one of those tiny space heater and put it under your desk to keep your toes toasty. Mittens are better than gloves for hand warming, but would be hard to manipulate your fingers. When it gets down to 30 in Georgia, it is bone chilling. The humidity is very high there. In Minnesota 30 is a tropical heat wave and considered nice enough for the children to go out and play. However, if your nose hair should freeze, it is time to go in .....

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
Um. I never told you that you can't consult my BFF Google. CPO stands for Chief Petty Officer. Based on a jacket that the Navy had as part of the uniform.

****
Kathy,
I have brought so many things to my classroom that I think I should be allowed to count my students as dependents. The heater would be one more things for the kids to demand to use.