Saturday, January 3, 2015

The Great Freeze-Out Conspiracy

WooHoo! Nothing died today at the Mansion!

I do, however, have a cautionary tale. The new water heater was installed last night. This morning, no sooner had I arisen at 8:05 than the #1 son hopped out of bed and into the shower at 8:15. Until 8:45. From there, he plopped on the long couch in saggy jeans and no shirt or socks. He did muster strength to eat some of The Pony's mini cinnamon rolls at 9:00. And use up several Solo cups of ice from Frig II. And by "use up" I mean fill a cup FULL of ice, put in a little water, slurp for a while, rattle the ice, then abandon it and let it melt.

I held off on the shower. I was sure the new water heater would pull its weight, but no need to tempt fate. #1, having exhausted himself bathing and eating and slurping, went back to bed. Somewhere around 11:15 he arose again. Stated that he was going somewhere, but that now he had NAP hair, so he was going to wet it.

"I'm telling you this so you don't freak out when you hear the shower running. I'm just wetting my hair so it will lay down."

Fifteen minutes of full shower later, he emerged.

"So now you're taking TWO showers a day?"

"It's the only way I can get warm in this house!"

"Says the boy who laid around without a shirt or socks after his first shower."

"It's too cold in here! That's the only way I can warm up!"

"We all live here too, you know. Put some clothes on. It's not like we single out your room and set the temperature lower in there."

"I'm leaving."

"It's cold out there. And you're only carrying a hoodie."

"I know I will freeze in the beginning, but then the car will warm up, and I can't take off a hoodie while I'm driving."

Funny how cars used to come with adjustable heaters, and windows that opened a crack. Funny how kids used to wear shirts and socks in the winter. Funny how parents used to set the thermostat, and kids just dealt with it and didn't dream of voicing an opinion. Funny how one shower a day used to be the standard.


Sioux said...

I know this is going to sound crazy and all new-fangled, but here in BigCityLand, we have a relatively new invention.

It's called a bathroom sink. No longer is the bathroom just a place to evacuate one's bowels and bladder or a place to clean one's body in the shower stall/bathtub. The sink is a handy thing to have.

Perhaps if you installed one in your mansion, Genius would use it to wet his hair...

It's worth a try.

Hillbilly Mom said...

The devil, you say! A bathroom SINK? "What will they think of next?" said Mrs. Hillbilly Mom, busily sawing away at a loaf of bread with a serrated knife.

I'm sure my boy would not be able to fathom such a use for this thing you call a "sink." It's not like he would begin to imagine faking his head stuck under the faucet, in the hopes of having an engine-load of strapping buff firemen come to rescue him.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Wait until he has a house of his own. My daughter guards her thermostat from visitors. She even provides blankets for sitting on her couch. She thinks 65 is warm enough.

Hillbilly Mom said...


They'd better be electric blankets!

The #1 son would call the abuse hotline. We keep ours on 70, and that's borderline torture for him.