Thursday, January 15, 2015

Mrs. Hillbilly Mom Solves The Clues With One Hand Tied Behind Her Back

Oh, these children! They must think this is Mrs. Hillbilly Mom's first rodeo.

Today, for instance. There I was, standing in the hall between class periods, as is expected of me under that clause, "...and other duties as needed" in my contract. It was late in the day. But Mrs. Hillbilly Mom is ever-vigilant. No shenanigans on HER watch. So I turned one eye to the hallway for runners or huggers or punchers, and the other eye in the door of my classroom. Mrs. Hillbilly Mom is kind of like a chameleon that way, with turret eyes that act independently of each other.

A feisty lad had just entered. I kept my left eye on him. Something was going down. Mrs. HM has a sixth sense like that. Nothing was really obvious, but I could feel it in my bones. There he stood, near his desk. Not sitting. Facing the class. It was kind of like one of those flip books that makes you see motion like a cartoon. Each time I looked in, he was in a little bit different position. BINGO! I spied him standing under my ceiling-mounted projector, with his hand on it.

Feisty must have a sixth sense, too. Because he turned to look at me with his regular four eyes, and pulled his hand back. He got behind his desk and sat down.

The bell rang, and I set about taking attendance. Reviewed yesterday's lesson. Explained today's lesson. Called out the page number to follow along. And turned on my projector to project the textbook DVD on screen, with the lady's voice reading this chapter.

HUH! What do you know? As soon as the projector came on, several kids hollered, "I can't read it! It's out of focus!" They're all little Sherlocks.

"Isn't that funny. My projector worked just fine last hour. And now it doesn't. I guess that's because FEISTY MESSED WITH IT WHILE I WAS IN THE HALL, AND GOT IT OUT OF FOCUS."

Feisty turned around. "You mean ME?"

"Yes. I saw you standing there with your hand on it. Nobody else reached up and touched it. And now it's out of focus. What a coincidence. You need to get up and fix it right now so we can go on with the lesson."

Can you believe Feisty acted put out that I expected him to fix the projector? In insisted. So he got up, AND REACHED UP AND GRABBED THE EXACT PLACE WHERE YOU TURN THE LENS TO PUT IT IN FOCUS. Another coincidence. He knew just how that thing works.

I made sure to share the tale of Feisty's skill with Mr. Principal at our last-minute surprise faculty meeting after school. I think Feisty is in for a stern talking-to. And I have a feeling Mr. Principal is not going to be his pal.


Sioux said...

But at least after young Mr. Feisty gets a stern talking-to, he will always remember how to spell "principal," although he might be tempted to put the word "not" in front of "pal."

Teaching is sometimes not-heaven (said the teacher who has a 7 AM meeting with parents and a 4 PM meeting with parents and sandwiched in-between, a 30-minutes PD session during her plan time).

Hillbilly Mom said...

Dang. I would call in sick with one of my 97 sick days from the stress of that.

Sioux said...

You'll need to call in more frequently than every other day to use up all those sick days.

If you don't snooze, you'll lose...

Hillbilly Mom said...

ACK! So many sick days, so little time! You, Madam, are a mathemagician to figure that out.