Friday, January 29, 2016

Reason #237 Why It ROCKS To Be A Teacher

 #237 THE SWAG!

Oh, I’m sure you were expecting to hear something about the great pay, the unequaled respect, the short hours, the unadulterated love flowing in from the families of the young lives you touch, or the intrinsic rewards of a job well done. But that’s where you’re wrong. It’s all about the SWAG, baby! And look what I scored today!

The college pupil who works for the replacement for the Tech Nazi waltzed in right in the middle last 10 minutes of my class before lunch. Okay. Waltzed would be portraying him as rhythmic, with energy. But he wandered in with a handful of bags containing wires, and said he was there to make sure none of my connecting wires were bad. Hmpf. If they were bad, I assume my technology would not be working. And it all works. However...even though I told him I would be out of there in 10 minutes to participate in the Semi Weekly Meeting of the Newmentia Lunch Time Think Tank, he insisted on providing his service right then. Because what are we faculty, anyway? Just roadblocks along the technological superhighway.

He assured me he could squeeze in between me and the spare student chair against the wall holding today's tests for my next class. But with that distance being the width of Giuliana Rancic's pinky-finger, I did not think even his emo-black-clad carcass would fit. I vacated my desk and roamed about the room, flashing science fair boards all willy-nilly, while he tossed those "not-working" wires into my wastebasket. The wastebasket under my control center! The one I empty myself! Not the big one by the pencil sharpener that the custodian empties.

Okay. So I’m not really sure what that is in the picture. And I DID take it out of the trash. But I’m sure it’s valuable in some way. One minute it was sitting there, connecting part of my control center to the other part, and the next minute it was garbage! Just like food expires at midnight. One minute it’s perfectly edible, and the next minute the stores are pulling it from the shelves, lest it kills someone. I don’t think my wires are going to kill anybody. Farmer H or the #1 son might have a use for them. At the very least, Farmer H might burn them for the metal for scrap. He used to do that with wire pulled out of his factory when he rewired it. Under the auspices of his employer, of course. In fact, he sold so much scrap that the junk man wrote down his address, just in case the law came sniffing around.

Anyhoo…now I have some extra wires in case anything around the Mansion needs to be hooked to any other things around the Mansion. All for FREE!

Farmer H is going to be so proud of me…

6 comments:

fishducky said...

Nice score, Mrs. H--& it's probably legal!!

Sioux said...

Schools... They're never one to waste or squander...

Sioux said...

Perhaps you could put all those wires in a bag, label it "Grab Bag," and tell Farmer H you bought it from a roadside stand--knowing how much he likes things like surprises--and tell him he owes you $10 for it...

Hillbilly Mom said...

fishducky,
I don't recall reading anything in the faculty handbook that said we could not have stuff out of the wastebasket. If they wanted to keep this and melt it down their own selves, they should have a very special wastebasket that the apprentice pulls along behind him like Oprah's fat wagon.

****
Sioux,
You're one to talk, with all those dry erase markers they provide for you to let dry out (ironic, no?) all willy-nilly because you don't care about taking care of things you don't have to buy for your own classroom!

Sioux II,
And I'll settle for $5...heh, heh.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

There are so many wire things and remotes with no appliances that go to them, I would be more than happy to donate these to your stash. I tried to toss the remote to the air conditioner that stopped working last year and I thought He Who would cry. He snatched it out of my hand and said he might "need" it. He laid it down and I tossed it as soon as he left the room.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Kathy,
No, NO! I'm not worthy! Keep your own stash.

What HeWho NEEDS is a special shed to keep all his wires and remotes in...