I almost had an eye gouged out by Jewels! You'd think one would be safe from eye-gouging, at least at the Semi Weekly Meeting of the Newmentia Lunch Time Think Tank. The seating arrangement around our hexagonal feeding trough was upset because The One Who Does No Duty decided to show up and do duty. Which meant an extra body at the table, and the shiftage of other Think Tankers. Which put me right next to Jewels, without a buffer chair between us. Sweet Gummi Mary! If you tied that woman’s hands behind her back, she would be rendered mute. Which would be a shame, because then we would never have learned that a former BF had ended up incarcerated for attempted murder.
Mrs. Hillbilly Mom, of course, is an optimist. “At least he only ATTEMPTED it!”
A fellow Special optimist said, “Yeah. I don’t know what you’re complaining about…YOU’RE still alive!”
I must admit, after further thought during my plan time, I pondered whether ‘tis better to only attempt murder and be classified as one who never follows through…or to make sure you are one who accomplishes what he puts his mind to.
Not that I wish to see Jewels harmed, of course. But if something happens, I would rather SEE it than only be able to hear it.