Get In Line Behind The Universe, Triscuits

Lately, I have been on a side-dish kick of sharp cheddar and Triscuits with a pickle on the side of the side dish. So tasty. I was not worried Thursday night when I ran out of Triscuits. I had a box in reserve, you see. A box of Triscuits lasts a long time around the Mansion, because The Pony and Hick are not fans like me. Mmm...Roasted Garlic Triscuits. So delectable with a thin slice of sharp cheddar, then that crisp bite of dill pickle from the Save A Lot condiment aisle.

Yes, a box of Triscuits lasts a while, what with me only eating four of them perhaps once a week, until now. I have had that reserve box sitting on the upper counter of my dark basement lair for at least two months. But that's okay! Triscuits don't go stale! Even the open box, as long as you fold over the waxed-paper kind of bag inside, and put a chip clip on it. I mainly eat Triscuits at my New Delly.

The Pony and Hick were at his academic meet Thursday night. I whipped up some tuna salad for myself, not the good kind, but only tuna from the can with a dab of mayo, to be eaten with a fork, not on a sandwich, because I had my Triscuit/cheddar/pickle side dish. I took the last four Triscuits out of the box, but I didn't worry, because I had the reserve box.

Friday, I made pizza for The Pony and Hick, because The Pony loves it, and Hick was going to the auction. They both took their plates to their respective TVs. I had the leftover meatloaf, and my Triscuit/cheddar/pickle side dish. I knew we'd be going to The Devil's Playground Sunday to replace my reserve box. So Friday night, I opened up the current reserve box and took out four Triscuits for my sharp cheddar. I slice that cheese off a big two-pound block that has been butchered into four half-pound blocks. Then I break two slices in half. That way, you have just the right amount of cheddar for the right amount of Triscuit for the right amount of pickle bite.

Only Friday, something wasn't quite right. What's with this cheese? It tastes off. Sure, it was the last of that half-pound block. Maybe it picked up a taste from the other food in Frig II. Or maybe the pickle rolled against it before I got to the side dish. That's odd. Maybe it's just that one half-slice. No. Definitely the other slice, too. I almost don't want it. It's not the same. But I only have two Triscuits left now. And half my pickle. Maybe the next bite will be better. Nope. Definitely not better. This almost makes me not want my Triscuit/cheddar/pickle side dish any more.

I debated on eating the last Triscuit on my plate. I turned to look at it, so lonely there beside the grease spot left by the meatloaf. And in turning, spied the Triscuit box at my left elbow, on the business level of my lower counter, the one where New Delly resides. WTF?

The reserve box that I had just opened said Rosemary & Olive Oil!

No wonder my Triscuit/cheddar/pickle side dish tasted off! I was not eating those delectable Roasted Garlic Triscuits! I was eating Rosemary & Olive Oil Triscuits! I might as well have been chewing on my sweet, sweet Juno's nose again! YUCK!

The Pony swears that he is not the one who picked up those foul crackers. I think he is. But we can't remember that far back to who was on the chip aisle that shopping trip. He is not known for his attention to detail. Still, it was an easy mistake. We remember that Triscuit had just changed the look of the box. In fact, we were both on the aisle the first time The Pony noticed, and he pointed it out to me. What we didn't know was how similar the packages are now with the different flavors.

Even the Triscuits conspire against me.