Mrs. Hillbilly Mom’s Think Tank Membership Is In Jeopardy!

Mrs. Hillbilly Mom almost had her membership revoked last week at the Semi Weekly Meeting of the Newmentia Lunch Time Think Tank!

I KNOW! Hard to imagine a lifetime member such as herself being cast out for daring to propose special treatment for she, herself, and I at the graduation ceremony. Actually, it was not THAT special a treatment, considering that others have been offered such a deal.

It all started when Mrs. HM dared to mention that she was thinking about not walking the plank with the rest of the Newmentia faculty this year, in long black robes, to sit in front of the tiny stage, facing the graduates and the packed house. The reason, you see, being that her very own son, The Pony, is graduating. And will most likely be giving the valedictory speech.

In years past, Arch Nemesis was offered that opportunity. “Oh, you don’t want to just sit in the crowd and be a mom?” I remember it clearly. I don’t think it was offered facetiously. Arch Nemesis was all broken up about her firstborn graduating. She chose to march and sit, though. And present her son with his diploma. We have that option, you see. If your kid requests it, any faculty member can step up and hand over the diploma. Of course my boys wanted no part of such a spectacle. Mrs. HM is unworthy, you know, being a lowly teacher of freshmen, long forgotten by the time graduation rolls around. The #1 son chose the Superintendent to present his. They have a camaraderie going way back from when #1 was just a pre-schooler.

In all the considerable years that Mrs. Hillbilly Mom has served Newmentia, she has only missed the graduation ceremony one time. And that was when she was on her thankfully-not-death-bed in the hospital with bilateral pulmonary embolisms.

Furthermore, Pinky was allowed to miss a graduation ceremony to see her nephew graduate at another school. One would presume that if The Pony attended the school in the district where the Mansion is located, that Mrs. HM would be allowed to skip Newmentia’s ceremony to watch her son graduate. So why should she be denied this pleasure simply because he is graduating at Newmentia? Mrs. HM does not want to watch the back of his head while he gives his speech. That happened with the #1 son, and she understood not a word emanating from the giant speakers located approximately 18 inches behind her noggin.

So…I dared to broach this subject at the Semi Weekly Meeting of the Newmentia Lunch Time Think Tank…and you would have thought I asked them to eat a cafeteria lunch during the last week of school! The green-eyed-daggers shot my way could have severed an artery! Those Think Tankers do not think Mrs. Hillbilly Mom should be allowed to watch her son graduate! That is preposterous! It would not affect them one whit, whether I was sitting in their midst or facing them in the parent audience on the floor of the gymnasium. To Mrs. HM, it smacks of meanness and ill will, giving off a vindictive vibe of  "If we have to do it, so do you!"

AND...when I approached the man in charge of graduation with this request, he looked at me like I'd grown an extra head! Mrs. Hillbilly Mom can read the writing on the wall. If one asks to be a parent in the audience to watch her own son graduate, and it told to go ahead and update her graduation robe specifications with the secretary and that the upper echelon will be consulted...it's pretty obvious that one is going to be walking at graduation.

Mrs. Hillbilly Mom does not ask for much. She does not make waves. She would like to think that she has contributed to the success of many a Newmentia student over her 20-year sojourn with the district. In the very least, she has not caused problems. Not another word will be mentioned on her part about receiving such very special treatment. She is not so much hot-to-trot as she is discouraged and hurt. She is beginning to understand the forever vacation decision made by her best old ex-teaching buddy Mabel.

I have a good mind to turn in my resignation.

Oh, wait. I already did.