Saturday I pulled up to the gas station chicken store for my 44 oz Diet Coke. I was fiddling with my winning lottery tickets, seeing how much I was cashing in, and then counting out my correct change for my magical elixir, when I heard a buzzing noise. Kind of annoying. I thought at first that perhaps a wasp was outside T-Hoe's window. They have a habit of living in his mirrors, and then flying around while I'm in town, and jumping back in there for the ride home.
I opened the door and stepped out, and realized that the noise was a lawnmower. A guy was cutting the grass over by the stoplight, at the end of the car dealer up on the hill. The one with the big cow, or the elephant wearing sunglasses, or the big chicken. Depends on which animal they are currently using to advertise.
As I rounded T-Hoe's rear, the noise grew louder. WTF, man! Get a muffler on that thing! I turned to scowl at him over my shoulder, like that would be effective, what with him across the parking lot and across the road from me...and saw him RIGHT THERE! That man had driven across the road and onto the parking lot of the gas station chicken store. Oh, crap! Another weirdo! I scurried inside.
There was no line at the soda fountain. The friendly gal had taken over chicken duties for the day, but she had no corn dogs, so I went on by. The happy gal rang me up, cashing out my tickets and giving me more. And then he appeared.
That Lawnmower Guy was SO LOUD! Just like his lawnmower! He stepped up to my left side and started talking to a guy behind him. Lawnmower Guy was either deaf from all his lawnmowering, or he thought he was quite important, and everyone in a three-county area needed to hear his speech. The friendly gal came around to the spare register, and asked if she could help him.
"I HAD A DOLLAR'N THIRTY-SEVEN CENT ON PUMP THREE!"
Yep. He had driven his lawnmower over for gas. I don't know why he reminded me so much of Farmer H.