Monday, July 18, 2016

The Pony's Latest Conquests

Fresh on the heels of The Pony's chick pickup, I bring you The Pony's latest conquests.

I try to see the beauty in each of them. I really do. But one has that insipid duck-lip thing going on. Why women think that is attractive, I'll never know. And The Pony's conquest even has the pouty look to go along with it. With a little bit of attitude. His other conquest is feeling kind of blue. Perhaps because a nose job seems to be in order. And a good waxing. Of EVERYTHING. But who am I to criticize the looks of any little doll The Pony sees fit to pursue and bring home? He won their affections, and now I must accept them. I fear they may end up in his bed. Both at the same time. Hopefully, nothing more than hugging will ensue.

We actually have a picture of the two conquests, side by side on the couch. No, they weren't passed out. They were staring right into the camera. Don't judge The Pony because he snapped that picture of them with no clothes. I mean the conquests had no clothes! NOT The Pony! Sweet Gummi Mary! It's not like The Pony stepped out of his safari tent and shot at an elephant in his pajamas.

Today we picked up The Pony's new glasses. He must have been looking pretty good in them, because on the way out the door of The Devil's Playground after our shopping trip, he hooked his two latest conquests. Not that I would call them hookers. Hookies, maybe. But just because they would go home with anybody without complaint is no reason to cast aspersions upon their virtue. No need to refer to them as $2 hookers. Because...let the record show...each of them came home with The Pony for only A DOLLAR apiece!


Yes, The Pony got a little grabby and seized them each by the head, dumping them into a bin on top of each other, then dragging them out and into the cart. He made them ride in the back of T-Hoe, then carried them into the Mansion by their feet like a satisfied caveman.

What he's going to do with them now...he has no idea.

4 comments:

fishducky said...

I'm glad The Pony has some new friends!!

Hillbilly Mom said...

fishducky,
Yes, once he nabbed them in the grabber machine, he said, "What am I going to do with them?" He might give them to a friend he's going to a movie with this weekend. Or they might sit on our couch until he leaves for college. And afterward. So I can look at them and weep for the good times...

Sioux said...

I'm sure Jack could romance one or both of them. Just put the two stuffed animals outside with Jack, light a candle and put on some Barry White...

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
I'm sure Puppy Jack would LOVE those fluffy critters! Get to KNOW them in the Biblical way. He's a LOVING little imp, our Puppy Jack. Until he has his very special operation...