Friday, November 18, 2016

Mrs. HM Really Expects More For Her 48 Cents

Perhaps you recall how Mrs. Hillbilly Mom has been having some concerns about the dead mouse smelling post office. Since her boys have not been getting their motherly letters (and small cash treat) as punctually as they once did, Mrs. HM decided to take the mail into her own hands, and deliver it by T-Hoe to the main branch of the post office, a few miles and few minutes past the deceased rodent stinking facility.

The Facts on Past Letter Delivery from Stinky-Mouse:
#1 Son - received his letter on Wednesdays, sometimes Tuesday
The Pony - received his letter on Thursdays

Current Letter Delivery Timespan from Stinky-Mouse
#1 Son - receives his letter on Thursday or Friday
The Pony - receives his letter (if at all) on WEDNESDAY OF THE FOLLOWING WEEK!'s been taking four business days lately (how appropriate is THAT--lately) for #1 to get his letter in mid-Missouri, and EIGHT business days for The Pony to get his letter in mid-Oklahoma.

I am no mailman, but I think it is preposterous that The Pony has such a time lapse between my mailing and his reception. EIGHT business days. That's ELEVEN regular days. That's barbaric!

Last week, I took the letters to the main branch post office and took them inside and pretended I didn't have two books of overcharged snow songbird stamps out in my purse, and paid the counter clerk, a woman on crutches with bruises and BandAids on her fingers, for postage to mail my boys' letters. She took out a book of stamps that had NOT been offered to me (couldn't tell what they were, but not birds or cancer) and peeled off two and slapped them on the envelopes, which she tossed over her shoulder into a bin.

Most Recent Letter Delivery from Main Branch
#1 Son - received his letter on MONDAY, one business day later.
The Pony - received his letter on WEDNESDAY, three business day later.

Indeed, there's something rotten in the dead mouse smelling post office.


Sioux said...

HM--I think it's time to see a NEW MAN (or woman) at the main branch.

They might store them in a closet for a few days before deciding to finally begin the delivery...

Hillbilly Mom said...

Heh, heh. Or maybe that NEW MAN will let a horse-faced guy with big teeth deliver it on a Sunday, while whistling!

fishducky said...

You could send a letter to Siberia & get a response in less time than that!!

Hillbilly Mom said...

I could take it there myself in a rowboat (that IS how I get to Siberia from Missouri, right? Across an ocean? I'm not good with geography) in 8 business days, because I MEAN BUSINESS!