The Battle Escalates To The Point Of Weaponry

Yesterday Mrs. HM armed herself for her driveway walk. Don't get all up in arms! (See what I did there?) It's not like I strapped on a pair of six-shooters like Yosemite Sam. I decided that I was taking the BB gun out with me. You know. Because Copper had been such a pest the day before, coming up behind me, BARKING at me in my own driveway.

I put the BB gun (already cocked) on top of the trash dumpster and started my walk, with bouncing Puppy Jack and frisky Sweet, Sweet Juno running alongside the driveway. I had gotten halfway to the end when Copper appeared. I swear, he's like that cat on the internet that is closer every time you look. I was startled that I had not seen him come around the end of his fence. I guess he came under, out of the brush.

"I'm not EVEN doing this today," I said to myself, my best listener. I turned and started back down the driveway to get my "persuader" the BB gun off the dumpster. I figured I could buy myself 20 minutes of walking time if I could run off Copper now. Copper unhinged his massive jaws to BARK at me for the second day in a row. In my own driveway.

I heard a car coming up the gravel road. I didn't turn around to look, because that makes me tip over on the gravel with my sore knees and unsure footing, and because who really cares who goes by on a dead-end road? Except for that time it was all black SUVs and a backhoe on a trailer, going to exhume that headless body from the septic tank. But I digress.

I had almost reached the dumpster when I saw in my peripheral vision that the car was actually my neighbor-man in his work truck, coming down his own driveway, barely visible through the brush and treeline between our properties. AHA! When he passed, he HAD to have seen his dog on my driveway, BARKING at me! I also saw that Copper was now down by the carport, closer. And still barking. I picked up the BB gun, which of course rattled as the BBs succumbed to gravity's pull.

Copper froze. Like in a cartoon. A look on his mug like "OH CRAP!" He turned to trot under the fence along his turkey-chasing path as I pulled the trigger. I didn't hit Copper (not for lack of trying), but instead pinged a tree trunk. Right as Neighbor Man got out of his truck. I know he heard it.

Anyhoo...Copper did not come back that evening. I heard his pitiful baying as I finished my walk. He must have been re-introduced to his chain.

Don't you worry about Copper. He was back this afternoon. Not barking. Good thing, because I had left my arsenal inside.