Wednesday, December 21, 2016

An Hour Later, You WON'T Want More

I have Farmer H figured out. I know he tends to tell me the "truth" as HE knows it. Like on our recent trip part-way to Oklahoma to meet The Pony. We passed an old building in our first half hour, along the highway near Newmentia.

"There's where ParkingSpaceStealer's parents were murdered."

"WHAT? I never heard about that!"

"Yep. They found them face down on the floor, shot in the back of the head, execution style. Never found out who did it. Or why. They ran a bar. Drugs was never a big deal back then. So that probably wasn't it."

Monday I mentioned that story to my best ol' ex-teaching buddy Mabel.

"WHAT? Her dad is still alive! And her mom died the year before ParkingSpaceStealer retired."

"I can't wait to present this evidence to Farmer H, and see what excuse he comes up with."

You can never be too sure if what Farmer H is feeding you is actually edible...


Sioux said...

HM--I'm sure whatever comes out of his chute is what he's feeding you...

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Need I say that I know EXACTLY how you feel! Never repeat what he tells you until you research the information!! I have more experience than you. 42 years of tall tales, I have learned!

fishducky said...

Farmer H may use this system: When I was a kid, I was sure my dad knew everything. When we were in, say, a large auditorium, I would ask him what the huge chandelier weighed. He'd think a minute, turn to me & say, "1,387 pounds." I believed him, not realizing he had pulled the answer directly from his butt. I used the same source (my butt, not his) later when answering the questions of my own children because it at least momentarily stopped their questioning. As far as I know, my children gave this same sort of information to my grandchildren. I assume this system will carry on through the ages.

Hillbilly Mom said...

But I don't WANNA eat what's coming out of Farmer H's chute! I am closing my mouth and shaking my head like Jerry being offered a bite of pie by his date at Poppie's.

Is HeWho the one who told you that Carole King was dead? Or was that Sioux's mister who told her? I can't keep these untruthers straight!

I'm sure that's his system. Although I didn't think it was to shut me up. I thought it was to make himself look smarter than me. Which is hard to do, because I know that the proper disposal of a banana peel does not involve the cushions of a La-Z-Boy.