Thursday, December 1, 2016

...In Substandard Packaging

It's getting really hard to find quality merchandise these days. Even when the quality merchandise will just be going down the toilet in a day or two. Yesterday I tried to purchase a pizza from The Devil's Playground deli case. Okay. I actually purchased it. But it wasn't easy!

First of all, there were four pizzas of the kind I wanted. The medium Ultimate Meat Pizza. That's because Farmer H prefers that kind. I, myself, like the Supreme, but Farmer H is not fond of green peppers. With the Ultimate Meat, all I have to do is pick the pepperoni off my side and put it on Farmer H's.

There were four stacked up in the slot. The top two had an expiration date of December 1. Yesterday was November 30. Thirty days hath September, April, June, AND November, people! No way was I going to buy a pizza that expired the next day. The other two pizzas were legally good until December 5. I moved the top ones, and pulled out a December 5 pizza. Huh. It had the box all broken down and chewed up. So I got the one on the bottom. Which had the box chewed up even worse.

This is what I bought. The best of the four choices.

That's right. This one was the pick of the litter. It looks like I backed over it with T-Hoe! With my luck, that would probably have punctured a tire. Coming out of the convenience store that was supposed to be finished before school was out so The Pony and I could stop by there on the way home from Newmentia...the sun reflected off a brand new shiny drywall screw, laying right beside T-Hoe, where my steering would have taken his left front wheel as I backed out.

Because a flat pizza and a door-stoppered T-Hoe window are not enough to balance out my recent scratch-off luck.

That Ultimate Meat Pizza needs a subtitle: "...In Substandard Packaging."


Sioux said...

Maybe you need to complain to the manager?

Hillbilly Mom said...

What? Make waves? That is SO not Mrs. Hillbilly Mom. She would rather stew quietly and then shame The Devil on her blog.

I see the manager in that store all the time. He's way too busy for that. In fact, on this broke-box pizza day, he was out patrolling the parking lot! Most likely looking for those people who work on their car there. No, I don't want to bother him with my trivial complaints.

One time I bought some expired cheese at the Country Mart. It was for my grandma's Christmas gift basket. Not individually wrapped slices of American Processed Cheese Spread. It was a fancy cheese. In a wedge. I was putting it away with its other cheesy buddies in the original FRIG, I saw that it had expired TWO MONTHS PRIOR. I know cheese is aged and moldy. But this was too much.

I took that cheese back to the service desk, and they called the cheese manager (perhaps he was the deli manager). He came up front and took the cheese. They gave me a refund.

I think they probably put it back in the case to sell to the next sucker.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

I have the same problem with the market in town. They don't rotate their stock, they just restock the new stuff on top of the old stuff. I make sure to check the dates before I purchase, because returning the stuff is just a pain.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Yeah. Now I have to remember to take my glasses, since I don't have The Pony to read expiration dates for me.

Of course, The Pony would have chosen the most smashed pizza, because that's how he shops. Whether on purpose or not, he always brought me the damaged goods.