It's getting really hard to find quality merchandise these days. Even when the quality merchandise will just be going down the toilet in a day or two. Yesterday I tried to purchase a pizza from The Devil's Playground deli case. Okay. I actually purchased it. But it wasn't easy!
First of all, there were four pizzas of the kind I wanted. The medium Ultimate Meat Pizza. That's because Farmer H prefers that kind. I, myself, like the Supreme, but Farmer H is not fond of green peppers. With the Ultimate Meat, all I have to do is pick the pepperoni off my side and put it on Farmer H's.
There were four stacked up in the slot. The top two had an expiration date of December 1. Yesterday was November 30. Thirty days hath September, April, June, AND November, people! No way was I going to buy a pizza that expired the next day. The other two pizzas were legally good until December 5. I moved the top ones, and pulled out a December 5 pizza. Huh. It had the box all broken down and chewed up. So I got the one on the bottom. Which had the box chewed up even worse.
This is what I bought. The best of the four choices.
That's right. This one was the pick of the litter. It looks like I backed over it with T-Hoe! With my luck, that would probably have punctured a tire. Coming out of the convenience store that was supposed to be finished before school was out so The Pony and I could stop by there on the way home from Newmentia...the sun reflected off a brand new shiny drywall screw, laying right beside T-Hoe, where my steering would have taken his left front wheel as I backed out.
Because a flat pizza and a door-stoppered T-Hoe window are not enough to balance out my recent scratch-off luck.
That Ultimate Meat Pizza needs a subtitle: "...In Substandard Packaging."