I don't expect people to use those self-checkout lanes at The Devil's Playground. After all, you're giving THEM your money, so why should you have to do the work, too? Why should somebody get paid (though not well, from what I hear) to stand by and watch you ring up your own purchases? That's what they're there for! To make sure you pay for what you're taking out of the store. So they might as well be hands-on in this pursuit of your hard-lounged-around-doing-nothing-for cash.
It was Monday morning around 10:30. Not a peak shopping time. There were about four or five normal Devil's Handmaiden registers open. I went to the first one on the food end, and it was Lane #4. There was an old lady (who looked like she used the same L'Oreal shade as I do) getting out her checkbook. Yeah. I don't know why they wait until everything is back in their cart, either.
Aged Agnes flipped open her checkbook and started writing. Even though the machine will do all that for you these days. Since there was only one other lady (with a full cart) between me and her, I decided to stick it out. I'd already read the headlines on the tabloids. Checked my phone for the time or even some junk email to pass the minutes. Aged Agnes handed over her check, and then thumbed through her check register to record her transaction. Then she took the receipt and looked at it, and put it in her purse.
THEN SHE REACHED INTO THE CHILD SEAT PART OF HER CART AND STARTED SETTING OUT OTHER ITEMS!!!
Nope. Sayonara! I moved on down to Lane #5. It was that slow Handmaiden I've had before, and two full carts were ahead of me. So I went on to Lane #6. Aha! Only one lady. Not too much. About a half a cart full. She already had most of it on the conveyor.
THEN SHE REACHED OVER AND SLAPPED THAT RUBBER DIVIDER BETWEEN HER MERCHANDISE!!!
"I have two separate orders."
SWEET GUMMI MARY! Who do you have to run over with your flat-tired cart to get proper service around that place? Sure, I've had two separate orders to pay for before. One with cash, and one with my debit card. But that's different! It's FINE when I need to do it. I don't know who these other people think they are! But they are surely not me!
Anyhoo...the Handmaiden made quick work of those two separate orders, and mine went fast enough. Even though she had a peculiar peccadillo about double-bagging everything.