Tuesday, December 13, 2016

And Now, The Weekly Status Of Check-Out Lanes At The Devil's Playground

I don't expect people to use those self-checkout lanes at The Devil's Playground. After all, you're giving THEM your money, so why should you have to do the work, too? Why should somebody get paid (though not well, from what I hear) to stand by and watch you ring up your own purchases? That's what they're there for! To make sure you pay for what you're taking out of the store. So they might as well be hands-on in this pursuit of your hard-lounged-around-doing-nothing-for cash.

It was Monday morning around 10:30. Not a peak shopping time. There were about four or five normal Devil's Handmaiden registers open. I went to the first one on the food end, and it was Lane #4. There was an old lady (who looked like she used the same L'Oreal shade as I do) getting out her checkbook. Yeah. I don't know why they wait until everything is back in their cart, either.

Aged Agnes flipped open her checkbook and started writing. Even though the machine will do all that for you these days. Since there was only one other lady (with a full cart) between me and her, I decided to stick it out. I'd already read the headlines on the tabloids. Checked my phone for the time or even some junk email to pass the minutes. Aged Agnes handed over her check, and then thumbed through her check register to record her transaction. Then she took the receipt and looked at it, and put it in her purse.

THEN SHE REACHED INTO THE CHILD SEAT PART OF HER CART AND STARTED SETTING OUT OTHER ITEMS!!!

Nope. Sayonara! I moved on down to Lane #5. It was that slow Handmaiden I've had before, and two full carts were ahead of me. So I went on to Lane #6. Aha! Only one lady. Not too much. About a half a cart full. She already had most of it on the conveyor.

THEN SHE REACHED OVER AND SLAPPED THAT RUBBER DIVIDER BETWEEN HER MERCHANDISE!!!

"I have two separate orders."

SWEET GUMMI MARY! Who do you have to run over with your flat-tired cart to get proper service around that place? Sure, I've had two separate orders to pay for before. One with cash, and one with my debit card. But that's different! It's FINE when I need to do it. I don't know who these other people think they are! But they are surely not me!

Anyhoo...the Handmaiden made quick work of those two separate orders, and mine went fast enough. Even though she had a peculiar peccadillo about double-bagging everything.

4 comments:

Sioux said...

Perhaps you should start doing your shopping in the evening, during peak "Farmer H" hours...

Kathy's Klothesline said...

My Wi-Fi is as slow as a Walmart lane! The check writing lady mad me think of my mother-in-law. She was painfully slow with her transactions, too. And that was way back when checks were the usual mode of payment. I always had my check ready and waiting for the amount while I was in line. But, I am that person with two separate orders, one of them being tax exempt. People behind me always glare at me!

fishducky said...

When our boys were young, they were in the Cub Scouts. Bud was the Pack Leader & I was the head Den Mother. I was constantly going to scout headquarters to pick up badges & other supplies. Headquarters was staffed by volunteers, one of whom was a very sweet older lady named Shirley. You know how fast Speedy Gonzales moves? Shirley didn’t! I tried never to go there when I was in a hurry, but one day I couldn’t help it. I was pleased to see both a man named Irv & Shirley seated behind the counter. Irv greeted me & was about to ask what I wanted when Shirley smiled, got up & started walking towards me saying, “II’lllll heellllp youuuuu, Mrrrrs. Fischhhhhhher!” (She talked as quickly as she moved!) I didn’t want to insult her so there was nothing I could do. This has since become a saying in my family. I’m sure you must have met some of her relatives—they seem to be everywhere!

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
That's a good idea in theory, but "in the evening" is also when one might run into former students and their parents. That chapter is fini. Mrs. Hillbilly Mom is not a people person.

***
Kathy,
I would not glare at you, because WE are exempt from annoying people, and entitled to as many orders as we want to pay for separately. At least I use cash on the extras! And a debit WITHOUT A CHIP on the main one.

***
fishducky,
So close, but yet so far! To have your speedy supplier whisked out from under you like a magician's tablecloth!