Today, as I headed to The Devil's Playground for the weekly shopping, a truck zoomed out in front of me. Oh, don't worry about Mrs. Hillbilly Mom! She has lightning-quick reflexes behind the wheel. It's only when she's on foot that she has the moves of a narcoleptic Galapagos Tortoise.
It was a small white pickup truck with a company's logo on the side in black. And on the rear bumper, it had one of those "How's My Driving?" stickers with an 800 number. I'm not identifying the company. Not because I want to protect them! Because I couldn't read it. Not because I didn't have my glasses. I drive without them all the time. The reason I can't give you the company name is that
THE TRUCK WAS DRIVING TOO ERRATICALLY!
That's right! Even if I wanted to take down that number and call to report on the driver's driving, I couldn't read the number because that white truck was weaving and swerving and speeding like Farmer H himself was behind the wheel!
My best ol' ex-teaching buddy Mabel will know where I'm talking about. I had just come from the Casey's where I get my gas, across from the bank that once shorted my mom $10, hung a right, and passed the florist shop that my cousin used to own, and then got in the left turn lane just past the frozen custard place. It was after my left turn, as I was driving down beside that auto parts store on the left, toward that apartment complex, that the white truck sped along the parking lot parallel to me for the length of it, then darted across the oncoming lane and right in front of me (!) without even looking. Then it jammed on its brakes to seem like it was stopping at the stop sign, but was really only slowing down enough to make a right turn and head towards The Devil's Playground's back entrance.
I might have been able to close the gap, because T-Hoe has a powerful V8 (not the juice drink), but there was traffic coming from the left at the stop sign, from that one-way end of the street. Not that it mattered to the white pickup truck that zoomed out in front of it. I don't know where that scofflaw was going, but last I saw, he was past the Pizza Hut stop sign and looping around toward McDonald's.
Maybe he had a hankerin' for a McRib. They're limited time only, you know.