Now that I am (ahem) RETIRED...I probably don't need this superfluous blog any more. No tales to tell out of school, because I'm not IN school to gather incidents and accidents, hints and allegations. Even though I'm soft in the middle, the rest of my life isn't hard. You probably don't find this stuff amusing any more. (And the SONG, Blog Buddy Sioux?)
I don't think I'll be able to win $1000 every week and stretch my scratch-off exploits over seven days worth of stories. But since I DID win $1000 LAST week...here's one for you.
Monday Farmer H drove me to the city to the lottery office. It was sort of like a fortress, located in an industrial park kind of area. I don't know what I expected. Maybe a field full of unicorns out front. Fluffy kittens frolicking on the sidewalk. A sunken waiting area with green shag carpet and those hanging egg-shaped basket chairs. A drinking fountain dispensing milk and honey. But no.
There was a rib-high counter with glass or plastic to the ceiling that I assume was bulletproof, with two small arch-shaped openings for sliding through winning tickets/driver's licenses, and receiving checks. Four chairs for the waitees, two on one side of the giant scratch-off ticket dispensing machine, and two on the other. An L-shaped counter for filling out forms while standing. And electronic picture-playing screens showing winners holding up their BIG winning tickets. Farmer H was mesmerized by them like a cat watching a laser pointer. Except he exhibited more self-control.
Only two cars were in the parking lot when we arrived, but then a truck pulled up a couple spaces over. We beat that guy inside. I was greeted through the flattened mouse-hole arch in the bulletproof divider. Asked my business. Asked for my driver's license. Given a form to fill out front and back.
The other guy stepped up to the counter while I was filling out my info down at the L-shaped shelf. He had won $2000! Show-off! A young lady walked in and pushed her ticket through. Got the paperwork and was done before me. A bit older woman did the same. They must be very lucky and win a lot, or very gifted in the fill-out skills.
When I went back to turn in my form, the young guy who had waited on me was getting the check ready for one of the speedy gals. So I pushed my form to the lady working at the other window. Both employees were quite friendly and explained the tax withholding and the form W-2G that I must hold onto until next tax season, because the state of Missouri will NOT be mailing me one. When the lady called me back to pick up my check, she held up my form and said
"Did YOU write this?"
"Yes. I just now filled it out..."
I thought there might be some confusion. Some technical problem with getting my money. When Farmer H and I walked in, the dude had asked if the ticket belonged to both of us. Well! I straitened him out forthwith! It was MINE. All mine!
"Because this writing is incredible! It's like typing! So neat."
"Well...I'm a retired teacher."
Yep. You can't take the writing out of the teacher.