Sunday, July 23, 2017

Or Maybe I Just Need Different Chauffeurs

It's no secret that Mrs. Hillbilly Mom believes in following her hunches, and heeding the signs The Universe gives her as she travels (hopefully not sweaving) down the highway of life. So it should come as no surprise to her that the most recent trip to the casino was not a profitable venture for her. It's as if Mrs. HM's luck was an empty canister, which was replaced by a full canister of Farmer H's luck...which we all know is the antithesis of good luck.

Oh, don't go worrying about Mrs. Hillbilly Mom's gambling stake. While down a bit, there is still plenty left in her coffers, thanks to her scratch-off fortune. We are not here to take pity on Mrs. HM, nor to pump our virtual fist and holler, "Yeah, buddy! It's about time she got slapped by reality!" Not that you would, of course...

Here's the thing. I should have seen the fall coming.

As I went through the garage to get into A-Cad on the casino morning, I noticed a bug buzzing at my head. Farmer H had backed out of the garage so I could actually get in the passenger door, which is parked up against the wall where a bicycle and ladder and assorted items hang on the studs. I swatted at the bug, and another one dive-bombed me. What in the Not-Heaven was going on here?

Farmer H started the garage door to closing. Then stopped it so it went back up. Then started it to closing again. I took a few more steps toward A-Cad, and noticed a few more bugs.

SWEET GUMMI MARY! A HORDE OF WASPS WAS AFTER ME!

I slammed A-Cad's door without letting any inside. No thanks to help from Farmer H.

"Those are WASPS! Look at that giant nest!"

"I'm trying to scare them away by moving the door."

"Moving the door is what set them off in the first place! They started to attack me!"

"Yeah. I guess. I'll have to come out and spray."

"There's been a big nest on the other door for years. It's empty. I've seen that one there. I thought IT was empty, too. I walk right past it SIX TIMES A DAY when I turn around at the end of the driveway! I've been walking RIGHT BY IT while it's full of wasps!"

"Yeah. I probably need to spray."


That's where it WAS. Farmer H went out to spray, and he knocked it down before I could document the evidence. As you can see, it's been there a while. Also a mud dauber's nest that's empty. We used to get a lot of them INSIDE the garage. But they don't chase with the intention of stinging.

Funny. The last two times the #1 Son drove me to the casino, in A-Cad, he stopped the car in the same area for me to get inside. And BOTH times, he ACCIDENTALLY hit the windshield washer button while I was getting in, causing me a soaking with window detergent.

Signs, signs...

You'd think I'd be more in tune with the signs.

4 comments:

Sioux Roslawski said...

Farmer H is so quick to jump in and take care that you don't get hurt (stung). Soon you'll have that treatment 24 hours a day and 7 days a week.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
Yes! My Sweet Baboo is SO selfless like that. Especially when he was triggering that door up and down TO SCARE THEM AWAY! I'm not sure how long I'll survive when he's home 24/7 taking care of me.

fishducky said...

You may need a restraining order!!

Hillbilly Mom said...

fishducky,
DANG! I hear that sometimes, it's pretty hard to serve the papers on the restrainee!