Wednesday, November 22, 2017

If It Weren't For Bad Luck, I'd Have Some Fresher Breath

The Truth in Blogging Law decrees that I can't use "If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all," for my title. Because I'm actually a pretty (pretty, as in fairly, not as in beautiful) lucky person. But every now and then, something doesn't go my way. Sometimes I come down with a malady called The Dropsy. Oh, not the illness from the 18th century. My own case of The Dropsy. Where I drop almost anything I touch.

Tuesday evening, I was getting ready to head upstairs and find some supper. Farmer H was supposed to attend a basketball tournament, so he said he'd warm his own supper ('bout to get him trained, maybe) of bacon, and carrots cooked in its juices. He changed his mind about the tournament, but I was still off the hook for his supper.

I was planning on some leftover gas station chicken, which I'd had the previous night, when Farmer H had said he was going to eat a hot dog at the game. Imagine my surprise when I opened the box to see that the chicken gal had given me a chicken with only one leg! Farmer H fessed up later, though, that he'd eaten a leg before he left for his game.

Anyhoo...it was going on 8:00 Tuesday night, by the time I went upstairs. I have been off my driveway walk due to the knee pain, and I was in no hurry to go up the 13 steps to the kitchen. Until I started to get hungry. I knew it would take a little while to warm my chicken in the oven. Even though Farmer H was up there watching TV, I was pretty sure he wasn't going to make my supper. He doesn't do it by my specifications, anyway. You can't just microwave leftover gas station chicken, because then the skin isn't crisp. I decided to have a Life Saver Wint-O-Green Mint to tide me over during food prep. I have a big bag of them on the counter of my dark basement lair.

I was standing beside the counter, after peeling off the individual cellophane wrap, having just popped that mint into my gaping maw, when it happened. Perhaps I should learn not to let my maw gape. I went to close my lips, keeping that mint on the front part of my tongue that senses sweet.

SWEET GUMMI MARY!

That mint rolled out of my mouth, bounced a couple times on the tile, and rolled about five feet, all the way to the back wall under my desk!

Yeah! It was just wet enough to pick up any dust and grime that five feet of floor had to offer.

Oh! The mintmanity!

Lucky for me, I had a bag of approximately 86 more mints.

Yeah. I'm really pretty lucky.

8 comments:

Sioux Roslawski said...

Apparently you were not mint to have that one.

Hahaha

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
Good one! You are cornier than a roastin' ear at a 4th of July picnic!

River said...

Laughing at Sioux :) why do things always roll ALL the way under? Why not just a little way or stop right next to a desk leg or something more convenient? Lola loses her toys under the couch like that. All the way to the back so I need a broom to sweep them out again.
Bacon and Carrots, that's um...interesting.
Bacon.
and carrots.
hmmm
anything else there? slice of bread maybe?

Hillbilly Mom said...

River,
Yet if we WANTED them to roll all the way under, it would never happen.

I'm pretty sure Farmer H used some bread to make a sandwich out of his bacon. Even though it meant extra work for him, reaching up to open a cabinet, and twisting that colored metal thingy off the bread bag.

Anonymous said...

Maybe Even Steven pushed it under your desk!!

Hillbilly Mom said...

fishducky,
I suspect Even Steven had a hand in ripping that Wint-O-Green mint from my lips! He has a lot of evening to do! I've been on a lucky roll lately.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

It could be worse .... I thought I was going to read that it flew down your throat and you choked! Just think of all the dog hair that would have picked up rolling around on my floor .....

Hillbilly Mom said...

Kathy,
No, it was Life SAVER. Not a Life TAKER! I have choked before, on a fast-food disc of ice, and sure did wish they had the hole in the middle like a Life Saver.

Maybe you should spit out some Live Savers. It could save time with your cleaning chores.