Saturday, November 11, 2017

Maybe He Was Freelancing

Nothing irks me more than having my hands in the dishwater, and having to go answer the house phone. Okay. There are many things that irk me more. I'm highly irkable. Let's just say my irk level starts at high, and only increases from there.

Anyhoo...there I was this morning, suds on my fingers, being my own dishwasher, when the house phone rang. It has caller ID. I was half expecting it to say, "Call from Farmer H." But it didn't. It announced, "Call from...wireless caller."

You know me. I figure it's probably a scammer, but I can't take that chance. Something might have happened to one of my college boys, and they had to borrow a phone to call me to solve their problem from several hundred miles away.

I rushed to the living room, wiping my sudsiness on my jammie pants.

"Hello?"

"Hello?"

"Hello-ooo!"

"I am calling from the main office about your Windows computer--"

"I DON'T TALK TO SCAMMERS! I DON'T KNOW WHAT KIND OF FOOL YOU TAKE ME FOR, BUT I'M NOT GIVING YOU MY INFORMATION. STOP CALLING HERE OR--"

Can you believe that guy with a foreign accent hung up on me?

I guess call centers have gone wireless now, or else this little guy was freelancing, thus his initial heads-up that he was actually calling from THE MAIN OFFICE.

I wish I'd screamed into the phone again, like that time I embarrassed The Pony.

My skills grow rusty without my couch audience to impress.

7 comments:

Sioux Roslawski said...

If you said "Hello" three times, that's one more than I will do. If they don't respond after the 2nd hello (and that's the one that I say loudly and in an irritate voice), I hang up.

At my house, two strikes and they're out.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
Actually, the second "Hello" was that scammer guy. I hate it when they echo me like that. Like hello/hello, or who's this/who's this, and just delay the torture even longer.

fishducky said...

Do you suppose, if they're filling out a resume for a new job, they list "phone scammer" under previous employment?

Kathy's Klothesline said...

I hope it was a real person you were venting to! I always have to answer the calls what with my cell phone having the business line on it and what really sets me off is when I come up with an amazingly clever retort and it's not even a person!

Hillbilly Mom said...

fishducky,
I think they probably do! Because it will help them get ANOTHER job as a phone scammer.

***
Kathy,
He was real, but he was NOT spectacular. Real, because he had that little hesitation and stammer when he finally started his spiel. And he was speechless for a moment before hanging up on me.

River said...

My own Irk meter is pretty high since Loony Louie moved in upstairs.

Hillbilly Mom said...

River,
I can imagine your Irk Meter having one of those steam whistle kind of things that goes off when you reach your limit, like the quitting whistle at a factory in a cartoon. It's red, and has an angry face when it blows its top!