Saturday, September 22, 2018

Looking Out For Public Enemy Number One

I really DO have to keep a close eye on Farmer H. You never know what kind of unreasonable act he will attempt next.

Wednesday, he left a bunch of doilies soaking while we went to the casino. I don't really care. They're not my doilies. However, the more he talked about it, the more I wondered if he knew what he was doing. He found a bunch of doilies in boxes of his storage unit stuff, and wanted to sell them at his Storage Unit Store.

"They ain't in no shape to put out for sale. I washed them once, but they weren't clean enough. So I left them to soak while we're gone."

"I hope you didn't leave them in BLEACH! Because when Genius was little, I left his shoestrings in some bleach overnight, and the next morning, all that was left was the plastic thingies from the ends!"

"No. Just in detergent. They'll be fine."

"Well. I hope so. You don't want them to disappear!"

Turns out they were fine, in a washer full of brown water. So he ran them through another cycle.

On the way home, only a mile of gravel road left to go, after stopping by the mailbox...I had to assert myself again.

"Why do you have your window down? You know we're on gravel, right? See that dust? It gets in the car. This is our best car! I don't want dust all over the inside!"

"HM, I am ENJOYING THE EVENING AIR!"

"Huh. It can't be that enjoyable, getting a mouthful of dust. I can already feel it gritty on my skin."

Heavy sigh. From Farmer H. He put up the window.

Seriously. WHO has to have the window down for a brief drive up a gravel road? He can just as easily sit on the porch in the rocking chair, and breath in all the evening air he desires. While his doilies finish simmering.

4 comments:

River said...

Did he have the window down before you got onto the gravel road? Because that's understandable. I agree he could just as easily sit out on the porch in one of those not-yet-repaired chairs to get his quota of soft evening air.

Hillbilly Mom said...

River,
No, he had the window UP while winding through the curves of two-lane blacktop. He put it down to get the mail when he pulled on the wrong side of the road by EmBee, and left it down going up the gravel road.

Heh,heh! I wish I'd thought to recommend those two upholstered porch chairs to him!

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Brothers, I tell you, they must be brothers!!

Hillbilly Mom said...

Kathy,
I think so. At least mine followed the colonoscopy prep!

I can't claim he's more advanced, though. Because he DID drop a 5th-wheel trailer hitch on his toe because he couldn't wait for his buddy to come down and help him get it out of the back of his truck. That required a trip to the emergency room. He drove himself, since The Pony was two weeks old, and I wasn't about to sit in an ER waiting room for hours with an infant and toddler Genius.

That toe required surgery for a pin, and still doesn't bend. It's his big toe. The orthopedic surgeon lost his license a couple years later. I suppose there are a lot of bad toes around here now...