Just when you thought you were safe from another rant about The Devil's Handmaidens...
was crazy yesterday. CRAZY!. I should know better than to get out on
the Friday before a holiday, especially when that Friday is also the
last day of the month! People are taking the day off from work! Planning
for their Labor Day Monday! Flush with cash from their benefits checks
arriving ON FRIDAY, since the 1st falls on a weekend.
Traffic was crazy. The post office was crazy. The credit union was
crazy. The bank was perhaps craziest. And The Devil's Playground had to
bring in extra crazy.
That poor counter dude at the
post office was getting reamed by some guy whose package from Amazon had
been sent back several times. Counter Dude tried to explain that it
couldn't be sent to a non-existent address, but the complainer kept
complaining that he'd already called about this, and did what he was
told, and now he had to go BACK HOME and do it all again. Sounded like
he wanted his shipping money back, and that the problem was with the
address he was trying receive his package. As much as I felt sorry for
Counter Dude, I'm pretty sure the fault was with the post office, and
what they told him his address was.
The credit union
had a new guy working. So of course he doesn't recognize me on sight,
and know that I'm legit, taking cash out of The Pony's college account
(my name is on it also). That's not my issue with him. My issue with him
is that when he bothered to ask what bills I wanted it in, and I told
him, he came back to count out a pile of 50s. Which was neither of the
two denominations I'd requested. I took them anyway, since people were
waiting, and put them in the bank.
See, I had planned
on putting some in the bank to cover the cost of the e-checks I did for The Pony's interim housing costs from summer to fall, while keeping part of it
as our weekly cash, replacing the check I'd written him for his own monthly allowance. Rather than deposit the whole thing, and then
withdraw cash from the ATM. Which is what I ended up doing. Because
nobody likes 50-dollar bills.
SWEET GUMMI MARY! The
Devil's Playground was extra Not-Heavenish on Friday! The parking lot
was almost full. I could barely navigate the aisles with my cart/walker,
due to so many EMPLOYEES SHOPPING! Uh huh. That new Drive Up Service is
a pain for regular shoppers. Employees designated to compile those
orders have big metal carts, with multiple plastic bins on them, which
they park in the aisles while gathering groceries. This is surely the
beginning of the apopadopalyspe, as Farmer H calls it. People can't even
shop for their own groceries!
Anyhoo...now that we're caught up...let me tell you about my freshest Not-Heaven of the day, THE DEVIL'S MANSERVANT!
suppose The Devil had to call in reinforcements for all the holiday
business, because a brand new guy was opening Register 1. I know he was
brand new, because Register 1 is surely Not-Heaven within Not-Heaven. It
has to serve the most customers, because they come to it first, and get
in line. I saw The Devil's Manservant fiddling, but his light was off,
so I thought he might be closing. NO! He turned it on, and came around
to say he could help me. You can bet I hustled my cart/walker over there
forthwith from Register 2.
I didn't have all that
much, really, but the self-checkers (the opposite of the Drive Up
Shoppers) were lined up six deep. Not that I would have deigned to scan
my own merchandise, mind you. Here's the order. Let the record show that
The Devil was out of Chicken Bacon Ranch Pinwheels, the main reason I
stopped there. I had four bananas, three cans of white meat chicken, a
bag of frozen peas, a carton of chicken broth, a jar of Alfredo sauce,
two packs of Hawaiian Rolls (regular, and sandwich length), and a small
container of slaw.
The Devil's Manservant clunked my
items into the bags, and spun the bag carousel clockwise! That meant I
couldn't reach my bags. Had he spun it counterclockwise, I could have
lifted them out as he spun it to fill the next bag.
he told me my total, and went around and put my bags in the cart. You
might think that's a nice thing for him to do, but I'm never sure I get
all my bags like that. AND the chip reader thingy froze on DON'T REMOVE
CARD. I couldn't get the screen to put in my PIN. I told him there was
something wrong, and he said, "I have to hit a button." Well then. I
suggest you spin your carousel the normal way, and stay at the register
so you can do just that!!!
THE REAL ISSUE was the way
he bagged. The two packs of Hawaiian rolls together in a bag, but turned
different ways to make the bag not very pickupable. The bananas on top
of the peas on top of the slaw. I prefer bananas alone, so the corners
of packages don't bruise them. AND he put the three cans of chicken in
with the Alfredo sauce and chicken broth. In fact, he ripped the first
bag, so wrapped it around the chicken broth before sticking it in with
the other stuff.
Seriously. These young guys need to
understand their customers' capabilities. Old ladies don't want every
heavy item in the same bag. And for cryin' out loud, SWEET GUMMI MARY,
those heavy bags need to be at least DOUBLE BAGGED!
Farmer H pointed out the other day (and he's not even a regular denizen
of The Devil's Playground), "I'd hate to think about the items those
shopper workers would choose for my list!" Seriously. It would be like
when I took The Pony shopping with me, and everything he brought back
had a rip, a crushed corner, a dent, or a torn label.
suppose the silver lining of this dark shopping cloud is knowing that
even if The Pony doesn't land a chemical engineer job right off...his
talents can be used to earn minimum wage as a Devil's Shopper.