Friday, October 5, 2018

That Darn Jack!

You know I love my little mutt, (formerly known as Puppy) Jack. He's so energetic and happy that he lifts my spirits every time I see him. He's a furry tube of fun, my little half-dachshund half-heeler.

Yesterday, Jack went a little too far. He loves to put his front feet up on my shoulders, while I'm standing on the sidewalk by the side porch, on the way to the garage. I think he remembers his puppy days, when I'd pick him up and he'd climb on my shoulder like a red-spotted white fur stole, and burrow his head up under my lovely lady-mullet.

Well. We'd had heavy rains overnight. As I came around the porch corner, I saw Jack and Juno and Copper Jack frolicking in the front yard. They all stopped, looked at me, and took off at a run. Jack is the quickest. He rushed up on the side porch, hopeful for a petting before jealous Juno could shoulder him away from me.

I was on my way to town, in a solid-color pastel purple shirt. I stepped back from the edge, saying, "Jack! NO!" But it was too late. His muddy paws were already in motion as he reared up on his hind legs, looking for a shoulder-snuggle. I didn't want him to topple three feet down onto the concrete. So I didn't jump all the way back. I leaned back and swiveled at the waist.

Jack's paws caught my right shoulder (instead of the usual left) and boob area. Mostly the boob area. I had a black muddy swipe right over the boob area. That's not an attractive look. It was already after 1:00, and I didn't want to go back in and change. The muddy mark was maybe a an inch long, and as thick as a big fat pencil lead, like used by kindergarteners.

I gave the dogs their anticipated cat kibble, and left for town. I figured that if anybody asked, they wouldn't believe that my half-dachshund half-heeler had really jumped up on me and left a muddy paw swipe on my boob area.

Seriously. They don't hang low enough for that.


River said...

If Jack had left a few extra random swipes, people might assume it is a pattern on the fabric.
I did a similar thing once with a skirt that had a white spot where bleach had dripped. I laid out the skirt on newspaper, dipped an old toothbrush in bleach, flicked it over both front and back of the skirt from a decent height and got random bleach spots in different sizes.
It's called resourcefulness.

Hillbilly Mom said...

That was a scathingly brilliant idea! I splashed some bleach on a pair of dark blue pants. Just on spot, on the leg. I don't think I could have made them look like they were meant to be that way by splashing more. Pants don't come in such a variety of patterns like skirts. I used them for driveway walking after that.