Sunday, August 11, 2019

Probably An Attempt To Scare Me To Death

You know how your eye is drawn to something new? You don't consciously scan your everyday surroundings for changes. But your subconscious will alert you to an inconsistency. Like what demanded my attention as soon as I backed T-Hoe out of the garage on Thursday.

I'm not talking about the open space where the camper trailer is missing. I KNEW that was going bye-bye, up to the Storage Units. Still no offers. No, I'm talking about this non-talking head nailed to a post.

Farmer H had been rooting around in his Freight Container Garage for new items to take to his Storage Unit Store for the weekend. I guess he didn't think anybody would want to buy this mask. Or else he wanted to keep it for his own evil purposes. I'm pretty sure he's trying to kill me.


I don't find this mask frightening. Not compared to some others he's brought home. Including one The Pony swears turned itself over when left on the kitchen table overnight. Let's see if I have a pic of that one...

Yes, there it is, from several years back, before Genius went off to college. The Pony is modeling it, perhaps at my request. My biggest fright came when Genius wore it halfway down the basement steps, and hollered to wake me from a slumber in my basement recliner. For all I know, Farmer H sent him on that mission.

Anyhoo... I sent The Pony a picture of the new mask on the carport pole.

"What you're missing here at home."

"Make sure he knows he's still not allowed to put them in my Sword Shack!"

"I'll tell him, but I think the others are still in there."

"The ones in there are creepy, but acceptable."

"In your opinion."


Sioux Roslawski said...

Maybe it's the mask of a fertility god.

Or perhaps it's the face of a Love God--and Farmer H is trying to woo you, since both the boys are out of the nest.

You're assuming Farmer H has bad intentions. Shame on you.

Hillbilly Mom said...

NOOOO! That first sentence sent chills down my spine. And NOT chills of excitement. Chills of HORROR! It almost confirms my pretty-sure-ness that Farmer H is trying to kill me by fright.

River said...

I like it, I'd hang it in my garden. I am wondering why there is a cast iron pan hanging there though.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Don't get me started on the cast iron pan! That's a new addition, but the garage wall is covered with them. I guess that's hoarder style. Even worse, the day I saw the mask, I came back home and noticed, from the end of the driveway, that Farmer H had added three WHITE ENAMEL pans to the side of the garage, facing the road. Two round pans, and a loaf pan. They looked terrible there, and I commanded Farmer H to take them down. I think he did. I didn't notice them again.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

He needs to know that he could get a pretty penny for those cast iron skillets if he seasoned them! Appeal to his greed!!

Hillbilly Mom said...

Oh, he knows! Some of them are actually in good shape when he buys them at the auctions, then he hangs them out to rust. He's always telling me that if anything happens to him, he has X-dollars worth of this or that, including his cast iron.