Wednesday, August 30, 2023

Farmer H, The COB-Lobber

Here we go again...

I got Farmer H's supper ready while he was cooking the main dish. The hamburgers I patted out and ground some black pepper onto. All he wanted was pickles, sliced onion, and sliced tomato on the burgers. And two ears of corn on the cob.

Farmer H had been mowing before coming in to relax a while before grilling. I asked if he had stopped the mower in the back yard, and picked up his BBQing spatula. He had not. He'd left it on the porch rail a couple grillings ago, and the squirrels had knocked it off by the fake fish pond. It takes a long walk on uneven (and tick-infested!) ground to get around back. So I don't blame him for not fetching it sooner. Still. When you are riding on a mower, and only have to get off and pick up that spatula, there's not an actual excuse.

I gave Farmer H my metal spatula to use. He insisted that he could just use his tongs like before. Although that resulted in a broken burger. Which I made him eat for himself, since I had warned him ahead of time that tongs would break a burger, and that I was not going to eat a broken burger! So after hesitating, Farmer H said he would take my spatula to use for burger flipping.

While Farmer H was sitting on the porch watching burgers sizzle, I laid out his sliced pickles to drain off the juice. I shucked his corn and wrapped it in Glad Cling Wrap so it was ready for microwaving when he came in. Washed the tomato. Set out his plate and the bag of buns. Set out the butter to soften. Laid out a knife.

As soon as he brought in the tray of burgers, I popped the corn in the microwave, and started slicing his onion and tomato. Farmer H had settled down to eat at the cutting block while I was making myself a salad, and then slicing my own onion and tomato.

Before I had all my food together, Farmer H was getting up from the cutting block. He walked around the kitchen counter, out the door, and lobbed his two corn cobs off the back porch. All the while ignoring the plate of corn husks, onions skins, and tomato seeds that was sitting four inches from his elbow, awaiting a porch toss.

4 comments:

Kathy's Klothesline said...

You need a ravine! I compost most things, but I have been known to toss a half watermelon (empty, of course) down the ravine. The birds have a fine time with it. Dont let the dogs get those cobs, i know two people who paid a small fortune for emergency surgery on their dogs for swallowing a big chunk of corn cob.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Kathy,
I have not noticed the dogs showing an interest in the cobs, but with Jack being such a chewer, it's possible. He usually chooses man-made things to gnaw on. We used to toss the cobs to our chickens, who LOVED THEM! As well as watermelon rinds. I saw a doxie on The Incredible Dr. Pol who needed surgery because they thought she swallowed parts of a blanket, but it was a piece of corn cob. Dr. Brenda said she thought the dog ate the blanket trying to settle her stomach from the cob!

Juno was not a toy aficionado, but she was a HOARDER! She'd take all manner of items into her house. Deer antlers, petrified bones, toys we hadn't seen in many years. Farmer H had to regularly dump it out, and toss the things into the back yard. Juno would be mad at him, and slowly gather her treasures again.

Poor Dumb Ann, the black German shepherd, would sometimes take an EGG from the chickens. Not to eat. But to carry around in her mouth, and lie with it between her paws. She guarded it from the other dogs, and would take it with her when she changed locations. Every now and then Juno would get it and carry it.

River said...

After reading the comments here I'm glad I don't have dogs. and just between you and me, I'm glad I don't have a "Farmer H".

Hillbilly Mom said...

River,
Yes, you have nobody to lob cobs, and no critters to eat them! Two less worries to deal with.