Tuesday, August 22, 2023

Mrs. HM Is Pulling Out Her Lovely Lady-Mullet!

Are you sitting down? Or are you one of the multitudes running an Iron Man Competition while reading Mrs. HM's blog? I don't want this to be a shock to your system like it was to mine. So brace yourself. Perhaps have some smelling salts at the ready. A home defibrillator might be an extra caution.

I HAD NO INTERNET WHEN I GOT HOME FROM TOWN!!!

Seems like only a couple weeks ago that I was absent from the innernets for that very reason! And that it cost me a couple hundred dollars and two days of my life to get a repairman out here to fix the issue.

I was living high on the proverbial hog, cruising the invisible airwaves to my heart's content, going to any site I desired. Not a care in the world (well, internetly, that is) with my new router(s) and replaced DISH eye.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen! I left my HIPPIE shortly before noon on Monday. I'd had some serious business with him, and then gave it a rest to give myself a rest before an early town trip. I returned around 3:00. Farmer H was here to carry in groceries and eat some chicken legs. We chatted for 30 minutes or so. Then he left for the auction. I went to sit down at HIPPIE, and log in to Spotify for my scratcher-scratching music.

HIPPIE HAD NO CONNECTION!!1

Kept asking for my security code, which was set by the repairman, and is very familiar to me, having tried it out before he left. He said I would only need it if I connected another device. Welp! That did not happen. Just me and HIPPIE. I'm not two-timing him, stepping out with another electronical sweetie. But he kept asking me to prove my loyalty by typing in my security code to connect. Even after I had just typed it in.

Troubleshooting said to turn my router off and on. HELLO! That's easy for him to say, because he doesn't have to walk down 13 rail-less basement steps in the absence of Farmer H! I looked into a System Restore. Funny how HIPPIE had be subjected to a WINDOWS UPDATE at 12:28. That must be when my internet flew the coop. I tried the restore. That dirty dirty liar said it would restore HIPPIE to what he was BEFORE the last restore point of 12:38. But after an hour, I discovered that he had restored HIPPIE to that very time. So of course my internet was still unobtainable.

Sweet Gummi Mary! I had to descend those steps, and look for my new router(s). They were not in the cubby of Genius's old computer desk. It was like a router graveyard. Dark dead routers. The old kind. Oh. There. That must be it, over on the DISH TV receiver by the big-screen TV. I unplugged it. Then went into the workshop to unplug the modem as well. Since I was down there and all. Huh. What's THIS? A white egg-looking thingy sitting there, with a weird oval white plug-in at the electrical outlet next to the plug for the modem.

I unplugged both of them, just to be sure. Then back in. Went back to the white thingy on the DISH TV receiver. In plugging it back in, I noticed that the logo on the front of it did not say WiFi as I had assumed. It said Wii. That's the boys' old gaming system!!!

I snooped around Genius's desk again. Huh. There was something new, behind the 500 sheet pack of paper. A white egg-shaped thingy. I unplugged the power cord in the back of it. Which promptly fell down under the desk. I also wrenched out the ethernet cable attached to it, and held on for dear sweet life. Then I fished out the power cord. Then plugged them back in. Climbed those 13 rail-less steps on all fours, to be safe and incur less pain.

I must have been turning blue, what with holding my breath, to wait for HIPPIE to power up and see if I had internet. 

I DID!!!

I hate those freakin' WINDOWS UPDATES. They say they are security updates. They're not protecting ME from anything. They are updating the ways that WINDOWS snoops on me. I'm pretty sure. I've never known WINDOWS to be so concerned about my well-being and privacy.

4 comments:

Kathy's Klothesline said...

I am no fan of the updates either! I can only imagine your knee screaming at all the steps! I only have four and am so happy there aren't more.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Kathy,
After sitting at HIPPIE for a couple hours, I wondered why my knee was hurting so bad the rest of the night. Then I recalled THE STEPS! Also, I had been to the Country Mart over in Sis-Town. There's quite a slope to get into the store from the parking lot. I don't mind walking UP, but coming down really hurts that knee. Even while leaning on my cart/walker.

River said...

Updates never seem to bother me, my internet just keeps going as it always has.
I am wondering why the boys old Wii "egg" was where you thought the wifi would be, has someone been down there messing about with plugged in things? And why do you still have all those old dead routers? that basement needs a spring clean. Maybe The Pony and Genuis could help with that, by doing the actual work while you shout orders from above the still-rail-less steps.

Hillbilly Mom said...

River,
Updates have always wreaked havoc with my computers, from different laptops to even New Delly, which was built especially for me by Genius.

The Wii is a white standup thingy that looks like a book shape. It was on the DISH receiver by the TV, on the other side of the steps. It's the only thing I could see that looked uncommon, and like it might be a router.

The "eggs" were the one in the workshop I found first, definitely not something we had before. So when I came back out to the stair area, I finally saw the other "egg" up against the stair wall, on top of Genius's desk.

The old routers, or router (I don't know how many parts it had) was in the cabinet of the desk, with the door closed. So that's where I looked for a new one. The DISH repair guy and Farmer H were the ones involved in the new router installation. So I had no idea what they did, or what I was looking for.

As for the spring cleaning, it would be fall cleaning here, and we prefer to be lazy dirty hoarders, rather than cart things up those 13 rail-less steps. The Mansion is 1600 square feet, and I think that doubles if you count the full basement. It's not like tidying up a computer nook like I had in my $17,000 house. If we took a day to set aside what we want carried out, I'm sure The Pony would come do that for us. Genius... not so much!