I have a list in my head. Not so much in my head, as corners of pages folded down in some mail-order catalogs. And an email from Genius with a wish list. That came in about an hour ago. And my catalog browsing was done
I guess Farmer H is feeling like increasing his newfound junk earnings. He's been making a lot of little profits. He said he bought a bicycle at the auction last night for $5, and sold it this morning at his SCS (Storage Container Store) for $10. I daresay that's better than I will do with my gambling stake at the casino. I DID win $70 yesterday on scratchers, though, for my $25 of winners cashed in. So we're both in pretty good shape to wager.
OH, NO! I just saw a commercial for a Sock Slider! SWEET GUMMI MARY! Please don't let Farmer H and the boys get me this for Christmas! I'll gladly take another $3 change purse and two boxes of Sno-Caps if they'll not gift me with this contraption!
I was disappointed when they gave me the Old People Chair. That this would be the beginning of the end. I must say, I'm still kickin', and I DO enjoy a heated nap in my OPC every evening. But I must draw the line at this Sock Slider.
Shh...don't tell them it exists.
6 comments:
Would you prefer a pet rock?
Well, how about a little blackmail?
You give me free DEE-luxe estate tour ticket, and I don't send Farmer H a letter with the sock slider link...
Times a'tickin'.
Like you, I DO NOT want a sock slider! If one of my children get this for me, I will not be gracious. I will throw a fit to equal some of theirs in times past! I once saw that someone was selling duct tape roses around Valentines and made sure to show it to HeWho and tell him he better not even think about it!
fishducky,
Even though I am from the era that it originated, having a Pet Rock would not make me feel as old as having a Sock Slider!
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Sioux,
Hahahahahahahahaaaa! As if Farmer H would ACTUALLY READ a letter! You'll have to up your extortion game, Madam! This plan is weak sauce, sister. Back to the old drawing whiteboard for you!
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Kathy,
Duct tape roses? They would not be nearly so tasty as a box of Valentine candy discovered in the basement two years past the Best By date. Good thing Farmer H didn't see them. I have a feeling that's a gift he couldn't resist.
I've seen that sock slider in a catalogue here, it looks like a useless thing. Most people who can't get their socks on anymore just go without. Luckily I can still get my socks on because I don't like bare feet in my shoes.
I don't mind going giftless either, with all of us already having everything, it gets really hard trying to find a gift. Even gift cards for various stores seem silly. I give them to my kids, they give me one, we might just as well hold onto our own money.
River,
Maybe your kids can give you a homemade certificate good for a month of sock-putting-on. You know, if you become unable to put on your socks. It's free, and useful. I don't know what service you could offer them, though. Maybe a "you're welcome" for raising them to adulthood.
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