Ain't No Way To Guide Your Prying Eyes

After my clicker-beating Saturday, I vowed that I was going to ask Farmer H to fix T-Hoe's clicker EVERY DAY, at least once, until he made it work.

You may or may not recall that I have asked Farmer H to fix this problem before. It's been going on for years, though not this constantly. I distinctly remember a time when Genius was home, so it could have been anywhere from 1-6 years ago, depending on whether it was before he left for college, or on a visit home from his job in Kansas City.

Anyhoo...at that time, Farmer H and Genius pawed over T-Hoe's clicker with less acumen than a chimpanzee harvesting termites with a stick. After 15 minutes, they gave up! Saying, "Nope, it can't be opened. It's fine. If it stops working completely, it's time to get a new clicker."

Anyhoo...Sunday afternoon when I got home from town, Farmer H was busy selling hay while the sun shone, to the husband of the doggy-grooming neighbor who shaved Marley for free. When he came back to the Mansion, I said

"My clicker STILL didn't work today. When I was in town, I had to hammer it pretty hard against the side of T-Hoe."

"HM! You just told me a couple days ago!"

"Yesterday. I told you YESTERDAY! But five years ago, when you and Genius looked at it, you said it couldn't be opened."

"Well, I haven't had time to look at it yet."

"It's in the side of my purse. You aren't doing anything right now, are you?"

Farmer H took his keys out of his pocket. SilverRedO had the same style of clicker.

"That's not the same! It's for SilverRedO."

"It's the same year."

"SilverRedO is a 2008? I don't think so!"

"Well, no. A 2011. But they're the same. Huh. I don't see where to open it."

"EXACTLY! That's the story you and Genius were sticking to."

"There has to be a way."

Farmer H took out his pocket knife, and poked a blade point at the side of SilverRedO's clicker. Nothing.

"It says there's a battery in it."

He said, looking at the thing with his naked eagle eye that can see everything but his own poop on the back of the toilet. Farmer H took out his phone. Fiddled around. I heard a woman talking, as if from an instructional video. He slid down the screen. More talk. "...see the notch. Insert a screwdriver, and twist. You may want to use a small screwdriver to pop the battery loose." He got up from the La-Z-Boy.

"Don't you mess up my clicker! I don't want it broken, or have to transfer my keys."

"I'll get the spare. It still works."

"That battery is also 11 years old. You might need one for it, too! And use a screwdriver! Not a knife blade! You'll strip off the edge of the plastic and it won't fit back together."

Farmer H returned with T-Hoe's spare clicker, and his multi-tool that was given to him by some guy in 1998. Sorry. I tuned out that story as I watched him pull out the flathead screwdriver part. He stuck it in the supposed notch area, twisted, and VOILA! The clicker opened.

"Okay. It's a CR2032."

"Write it down!"

"I'll take a picture of it. Now, if I can only remember to get one tomorrow..."

Let the record show that Farmer H DID get a battery, and fixed T-Hoe's clicker at approximately 3:22 on Monday afternoon.

"I walked right past the batteries when I went into the pharmacy. Good thing, or I wouldn't have remembered to get one."