Don't get your noses out of joint! This is not a toilet tale. Well. In a way, it is. But not in a Farmer H leaving-an-unwanted-deposit kind of way.
When I got home from town on Thursday, my toilet was fixed! I know that, because Farmer H did not come out to help me carry in groceries. Nor did he answer my phone call. Or reply to my text. As I came in the kitchen door, laden with bags, still having to return to the side porch for his three six-packs of Diet Mountain Dew...Farmer H appeared. As if by magic!
"Oh. I didn't know you were here."
"I called and sent a text."
"Well. I was in the bathroom, putting on the flush unit. What can I get?"
"Nothing NOW! I've already done it! Convenient for YOU!"
"I told you, HM. I was fixing the toilet. You wanted me to do that, right?"
With that, Farmer H sat down at the kitchen table, and watched me put away the groceries. I had just taken the bananas and tomatoes out of a bag when I got a whiff of something horrendous.
"YUCK! What in the NOT-HEAVEN is THAT?"
"I don't know! It stinks! As soon as the heat kicked on, I smelled it."
"It smells like rotten potatoes, maybe. Here. These were in the pantry. Go throw them off the porch. It might be a rotten one."
"I threw them off, but nothing was rotten. They were just ready for planting. Sprouted." Said Faremr H, who has never planted potato cuttings in his life.
"Maybe it's something in FRIG II. It stinks like old broccoli. But I don't have any broccoli. It's not my lettuce. I just ate some yesterday. It's fine. Here. Throw out these onions. I don't smell them, but they're old."
"It's not the onions."
"I don't know what else it could be..." I stepped to the corner cabinet, to put away the bread and buns. "WHEW! It's over here! In fact, it smells like it's coming out of this vent! You'd better check it. Take it apart. Maybe something fell in it and started to rot."
"No. There's nothing down in there. But it stinks. It's coming from the vent. Maybe I should check downstairs, to see if anything leaked while I was fixing the toilet."
He did. And it didn't.
"I'll run some water down the drains. Maybe another one has a dry trap. Maybe I got stuff stirred up when I fixed the toilet. I flushed it 15 times."
After running water in assorted drains, the smell dissipated. Or else we got used to it. I didn't smell it when I came upstairs later. Or the next morning.
I don't think this is a very effective way for Farmer H to try to kill me...
4 comments:
oh Yuck! But at least it got you to throw out aged vegetables. And the toilet is fixed!
I sometimes get a strong smell of possum-pee from my AC unit if I'm running it on the low setting. It's been checked and there's nothing wrong with it, so I turn it to high and open all the doors and windows (only 2 of each) for an hour to get rid of the smell.
Oh, he's dragging it out... Like a cat playing with a mouse before dealing the deadly, final pounce.
River,
Yes. It wouldn't have been long until those "vinchtables" as The Pony used to call them, started stinking on their own.
We've had a problem with the drain in the big triangle bathtub getting that smell every couple of months. I just run water down the drain for about 5 minutes, and it's fixed. We used to have the same problem at school, stinking up the hall outside my room in the afternoons, until the custodians figured out the problem. Something to do with the drains in the kitchen after lunch.
I hope no possums run inside while you have the doors and windows open!
***
Sioux,
I think you're correct, Madam. Farmer H is killing me slowly.
The windows are screened. All of Australia has screened windows and doors because of the mosquitoes, some of which get big enough to own real estate.
Post a Comment