Thursday is my bank day/post office day/gas day. These errands take me over to Sis-Town. It's not as fun as Funkytown. So I didn't put on my my my my my boogie shoes. Sorry if you wanted me to boogie with you.
The trip did not start well, what with a 25-minute sojourn in line at the bank. I could have cut that to 20 minutes if I'd chosen the other of the two lines. But no. I tried to be all logical instead of trusting my gut, which said to get in the line behind the mini van with the hatch hanging open. I instead picked the line with less old people. Note to self: old people will be faster at the bank than young people, since they have less time left!
I actually took a picture in the line. But of course my new used iPhone 8 ate it for lunch, supper, and 11:56 p.m. snack. I can't wait for the good Sprint store to open up again. I'm getting a giant heavy LG Stylo 5 like Farmer H. At least it will be dependable.
Anyhoo... from the bank, I headed to the Sis-Town Casey's to half-fill T-Hoe's tank. I never let him go below a half tank. Just in case. I paid inside (as is the rule now, thanks a lot, ne'er-do-wells), and went back to Pump 4 for my $15 worth of gas.
QUACK! QUACK!
I knew there were no ducks around. I peered through the pumps, and saw, on Pump 3, just the other side of me, an elderly man in a face mask. It might have been a regulation mask of some kind. Or maybe homemade. I had never seen one like it. I didn't want to stare. It was white, as if made out of computer paper, with thin elastic straps, folded with a crease. Like a duck beak. Or a pyramid with the apex pointing out in front.
Well. That was curious. As I pumped my gas, the quacking continued. Not in any pattern. A couple or three. A silence. One quack. Several in succession.
At first, I thought maybe this guy had a passenger with a disability. I could see two sets of adult men feet in men's shoes. Or maybe a set of lady feet in men's shoes. Don't knock it.
QUACK! QUACK!
Oh my gosh! I can understand entertaining a passenger, but this was getting on my last nerve. Was he making fun of me for squeezing the pump handle? Because Pump 4 doesn't work with that automatic lever thingy. It keeps shutting off. I use Pump 4 because it's closest to the sidewalk handicap ramp. I'll squeeze a handle rather than step up on a curb.
OH! Then I heard a toddler laugh and quack. Okay. So this guy was just cutting up with his grandbaby, maybe. But this joke gets old fast. Then again, I've never been known for my patience. My Parents As Teachers lady said my kids acted like little adults, because I talked to them as such. True. We did no quacking. No baby talk.
I guess there's precious little to entertain people during Stay-At-Home-Down.
4 comments:
HM--Yesterday, 12 teachers (in 8 cars) drove all over the St. Louis and Godfrey, Illinois area delivering yard signs and t-shirts to the 26 8th graders. You could tell we were a caravan. We drove right up each other's rear ends. Some of us had our emergency lights flashing. When we got to each house, we honked our horns, one teacher (the PE teacher) had a bull horn. She said funny things via it, along with making a very authentic-sounding fire truck sound.
Certainly, neighbor people came out then and watched and took videos with their phones. But we also saw people in their yard, or sitting on their front porch, and they were all excited to see us.
Excited to see some cars on their street...
By the way, I read your other blog. Most husbands would say, "But at least I DID write in the check register." Give him credit where credit is due. That little act earns him like the Oscars for husbands. He deserves a big "prize." Perhaps make his favorite meal--and don't use any almost-expired ingredients... unless he prefers to walk on the wild side...
Sioux,
Well, Madam, I certainly hope you were wearing a MASK! I can only WISH it was a paper duckbill version... Those spectators deserved the best.
The PE teacher description reminds me of the one on "The Middle." Here's a brief clip with her in the tinikling episode:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CenANDskft4
I loved that show! This clip was from Season 5, Episode 6, The Jump. That's also the episode where Frankie (Patricia Heaton) found a stray dog, and named it COLIN FIRTH, because she said it looked like him. With you having first-hand, in-person knowledge of his looks, you might want to seek out that episode and watch it. You know. To compare him to a stray dog. It WAS a cute dog.
Anyhoo, I do not write my other blog's continuing series "This Is the Time of Day When We Talk About the Most Recent Things You've Done Wrong" so people can suggest that I REWARD the wrong-doer! He has been banned from writing in the checkbook register! So he BROKE THE RULES!!! He's lucky that I occasionally let him eat the hot dogs he grilled for himself and dropped on the porch where the dogs eat.
I didn't baby-talk with my kids either, but we did play games that included animal noises, so maybe that's just what the Grandpa was doing to entertain a toddler while someone else was inside paying or buying. Better than letting a tired toddler get cranky and start crying.
River,
That kid was unknown to me for most of the quacking. There were two adults standing outside the truck pumping gas. So I thought they might be making fun of me. I was going quackers! Especially looking at that weird mask.
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