Yep. I colored my lovely lady-mullet with L'Oreal. Then I clipped 7 out of my 10 toenails. The other 3 didn't need it.
Slow down! Do you need smelling salts? I know the excitement is palpable. Sit down so you have less distance to fall. Take a breath.
I decreed that Farmer H remain gone from the Mansion between the hours of 10:00 and 12:00. It doesn't take that long. Only 35 minutes. But I wasn't sure when I'd get around to it. The Pony was relegated to his
It's not like I was traipsing around in my birthday suit, with a wad of gooey black gel on my head. I was comfortable in pajamas, with an old towel held around my shoulders with a chip clip. Yellow towel, red chip clip. Isn't that how they do it at a salon? Still, I didn't want any spectators. And I didn't want to sit on the toilet for 35 minutes while they had the run of the Mansion.
Now all I need is a haircut. I don't feel the urge to go to Terrible Cuts. Especially since their sister salon in Springfield has exposed about 140 customers to the VIRUS, thanks to a Covid Carrie. That's the current version of a Typhoid Mary.
Before long, I'm going to have a long mullet like Joe Dirt. But I'm not going to eat my fries and ketchup off a poop meteor!
7 comments:
Oooh! This is exciting! What colour did you choose? Purple? Neon pink? Lime green? Fire Engine Red? Or did you go for elegance with Champagne Blonde? That one is great for blending in the grey so regrowth is less visible.
I want to see a picture of this fabulous lady mullet.
I've never seen Joe Dirt. Should I?
Your spa day sounds so sumptuous. I think you should turn your house into a day spa. To make more money, I'm sure Farmer H would agree to stay away during the day, and with an extra helper (The Pony) you two could run several people through the pampering process every day.
What would you call your spa? And, what special things would The Pony do for your clients? (Just make sure there's no movement if he works on a guy.)
River,
I chose Medium Brown. I hardly recognize myself in the mirror! It's my natural color, but I'd let it go for almost 3 months, and it was quite faded out. So faded that the gray didn't show much! I should probably switch to Medium Ash Brown. I mean to do that every time, but I'm not one who enjoys change.
NO PICTURE! I must maintain my anonymity. A lady reveals nothing! (Learned that in "A League of Their Own.")
***
Sioux,
If you have some spare time, I recommend "Joe Dirt." Of course, I enjoy really stupid comedies. Nothing classy about Joe Dirt. It DOES have Christopher Walken. The clip of the poop meteor should help you make your decision. There's also a "rubs the lotion on its skin" moment. And those are the classiest parts.
If you'd prefer something a little more highbrow (comparatively speaking), then try to find "Scotland PA." It also has Christopher Walken, and Maura Tierney (everybody loves ER's Abby!), and is a modern-day Macbeth. Still a comedy!
As for my new spa, that shall be revealed in the next post. Hopefully The Pony could prevent "movement." I also will ban him from rock-climbing with the clientele, and forbid him from taking along sandwiches if he disobeys that order.
I've just watched that poop meteor clip and now I have to track down the movie!
River,
I have it on DVD! Which perhaps says more about me than I should reveal...
I have a tenant here who colors her hair frequently. Her latest is stark white. It has been hot pink, blue and purple. I wonder if she might be a troll doll. I didn't color mine. It tends to go red when I do, but I did cut it. It was just too long to do anything and I sweat a lot when I am in the garden. Three days in a row I clipped away at it and I actually did a decent job on the front. The back ….. who knows, but as long as I don't grab two mirrors and look, it's okay!
Kathy,
Heh, heh! TROLL DOLL! I am afraid to cut the back of my hair. I'm not artsy-craftsy like you.
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