Lightning 2: The BEEPening

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP...

I heard it on the toilet in the master bathroom. Thought it was probably an electronic gewgaw going bad. It sounded like the BEEPing was on the front porch. Kind of like an electronic heartbeat. Or a heart monitor. We have no hearts on the front porch. And scarcely one on the toilet, what with the cold, cold condition of the one in my chest cavity. So I had to think of another answer.

Perhaps it was something in my lair, which is directly under the master bathroom. And contains electronic gewgaws. I knew it couldn't be New Delly, since I'd unplugged his main power cord the night before. He lately has a penchant for restarting himself between 1-2 minutes after being shut down. I don't put up with that inexplicable juju.

Or maybe it was something in Farmer H's basement workshop. That's one thin particle-board wall away from my office. It contains the water heater, and the box for the DISH that brings in New Delly's internet signal. Also a color printer, and the blower for the heat pump. I sent The Pony to investigate.

"Oh, good. I'm glad YOU hear it, too."

He returned, proclaiming the BEEPing to be something in my office, over on his old metal office desk the size (and color) of a battleship. OR something to do with the water heater or filter, on the other side of the wall.

When I descended to my lair, I turned my head like a robin listening for a worm. First in the lair, then the workshop. The BEEPing was louder in the workshop. I figured it was a job for Farmer H.

Farmer H, and his apprentice, The Pony, commenced a myriad of troubleshooting. Which included running all faucets, flushing all toilets, checking all breakers, crawling under the BARN-side porch, listening at all telephone receivers, and calling the house phone.

CONCLUSION?

The lightning strike tripped the breaker for the well pump. Farmer H reset it. It also tripped the breaker for my undercabinet outlets in the kitchen. Which I discovered the next morning, when my phone didn't charge. The Pony reset it for me. So much for Farmer H thoroughly checking the breaker box. Good news is: the water heater and its filter are fine.

Bad news is: we have an issue with a telephone wire outside the Mansion. That alarm is on the gadget for the phone wire where it comes into the Mansion. AT&T will have to make a service call and service the outside line. IF they determine that the problem is INSIDE the Mansion, it will cost $99.

Farmer H is confident that this is not the case, since when he disconnected the house line, and called the house phone with his cell, he got a busy signal. If the outside line was intact, it would have made the ringing sound, like no one was picking up. ALSO, there is no dial tone inside the house. Only static on the house receivers when you lift them to make a call. Same as when our outside phone wire was severed by HOS (Hick's Oldest Son) when doing some odd job for Farmer H a few years ago.

Anyhoo... I am still being tortured by the BEEPening. It cannot be silenced, until the wire is fixed, and the alarm reset. An online work order purports that our service will be restored by Tuesday at 8:00 p.m. I'm pretty sure my current headache will last until then.