Aha! Farmer H has been caught in the act. The trap may not have sprung shut, but it's slowly choking the life out of him. He shall rue the day that he tries to pull the wool over Mrs. HM's hazel eyes!
When we piled into A-Cad for the casino trip on Wednesday, I interrogated him on the position of the passenger seat. MY seat!
"Why is my seat leaning so far back? I never ride with it like that. I feel like I'm on a rocket, launching into space."
"That seat hasn't been moved since you were in it last week, HM, when we went to the casino."
"That was TWO weeks ago!"
"Nobody has been in here. I don't drive this car."
"You drove it to the auction last night! OnStar told me!"
"Well, sometimes I drive it."
"Yeah. I guess you had one of your girlfriends in here. Or your cancer friend."
"No. I drive my truck for that."
"Well, this seat has been moved. Anybody can see that! It's leaning farther back than YOURS!"
Farmer H continued to float down that river in Egypt. On the way home, he started talking about taking a trip.
"I need to go somewhere. A little vacation. I'd like to go to Kentucky or wherever that Noah's Ark is. But I don't want to go by myself. You won't go with me. Or maybe I'll just go down to Springfield, to visit my buddy, and go to Bass Pro Shop. Or down to Oklahoma, and spend a day going through those junk stores we seen along the road..."
We stopped for the mail. It contained some offers from Downstream Casino, where we have our CasinoPaloozas.
"Oh, look. Casino offers. Let's see. You have $5 a week free play. No free rooms. No rooms on the weekends, but you can get a $59 room during the week."
"Huh. No free rooms at all? That would have been good for me to stay there."
"I have free rooms during the week! But they're $49 on weekends. And $7 a week free play!" Said The Pony.
"Well, I'm a high-roller. I have free rooms all weekdays AND weekends! Plus I have $40 a week free play! Hey! We can all go and use my free rooms! The Pony and I can stay and gamble, and you can go do your thing."
"NO. I don't want to do that!"
"Oh, I get it. It's fine to have free rooms and stay there if you're by yourself. But not with US. I guess you're planning a getaway with one of your girlfriends."
"No. No. That's 70 miles from Springfield! I don't want to stay there, and drive an hour to go do my stuff."
"Dad. You literally just said how great it would be if you had a free room there. And then said you didn't want to stay there if WE were with you!"
Uh huh. I rest my case.
6 comments:
Your PITA could go with my PITA. It would be a win-win for the two of us, at least.
Sioux,
Not if they go in A-Cad and your PITA moves my seat!!! I will know if it's moved a single millimeter!
I'd be giving him the fish eye stare every five minutes after hearing all that, it sounds so suspicious. And with the virus so rampant in your country why would he risk going through several junk shops all in one day when he doesn't know who the heck else might have just been there?
River,
Yes, very suspicious!
As for rampant, here's an example of our local statistics. The prisons (two in our county) are doing mandatory testing of all prisoners and staff. They've tested 3000 at the one I drive past every day. There were 54 positives, 4 of them guards. EVERY ONE of the 54 cases was ASYMPTOMATIC. No one was sick. Still, they were quarantined for 14 days.
The guards were not allowed back to work until they had two negative tests. It's been in the paper, and Farmer H talks to one of the staff at his Storage Unit Store. My point being that "cases" does not mean somebody sick. With contact tracing, they now are counting "cases" as people who live with people who have tested positive, even though they themselves have not been tested.
So... we are not in a panic about a "rampant" explosion of virus cases. People would be going about their lives in this 90-degree heat, feeling fine, never knowing that they might test positive if made to take a test. We wash our hands, keep our distance.
That's the point I was trying to make, people can be carrying the virus without actually showing symptoms, so who knows where they could be spreading it?
River,
My point being that our county went weeks with 1-2 total cases after Missouri opened up again on May 3. Then the MANDATORY testing of 3000 people, with no symptoms, came up with 54 cases. They weren't sick, so would not have sought testing on their own. If they were spreading it, it wasn't making anyone sick. It's out there. People have it. You can't avoid it. So it may be RAMPANT due to the way testing is being reported. But here, we don't have hospitalizations. The only two deaths were in mid-March, both elderly, who caught it from people who were actively showing symptoms at the time, who worked in a nursing home with an outbreak.
This isn't going away. The virus doesn't jump out of the sky and infect people. You have to let it inside your body. A person touching a breathed-in mask, then touching doors and card-scanners and groceries and PHONES will contaminate them. Wash hands, keep your distance, don't touch your face. You can't scrub every single item in the grocery store. You don't know who has touched them. You don't know who has touched food that you have them pick out at the store and deliver.
A person who tests negative one day may test positive the next day. You can't test every single person on earth every single day. Every single person on earth can't lock themselves away at home. Food has to be delivered, utilities have to run. People can live in fear, or live their lives.
It doesn't matter to me if people hole up and become hermits. I just think they're fooling themselves if they think they're going to avoid coming in contact with the virus. Unless they set up a homestead and raise their own food and stay away from people. And WEAVE THEIR OWN TOILET PAPER!!! Heh, heh.
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