With The Pony having taken up residency at The Mansion, there has been another issue with the infrastructure. I learned of it Monday morning, when he pranced around the kitchen, extra-talkative, rather than remaining in his cell, spying through the crack of the door at my back.
"Did you want something? What's going on? This is not the way we usually start the day."
"No. Uh. Are you staying home today, because of the roadwork? Or going to town?"
"I'll probably go to town, to see IF they're doing roadwork again. Why? Did you want something on my way back?"
"No. I was just thinking... I can go ahead and take my shower now if it's going to be a while. Or I can wait, so you'll have hot water."
"Go ahead. Just not a long one. I won't get in for at least an hour."
I had barely settled on the hard, hard coffee table in front of HIPPIE when The Pony returned to the living room.
"I thought you were getting in the shower."
"Well. I'm going to wait until after yours. I put some Drano in mine."
"Draino? Where did you get that?"
"Beside the toilet. I guess Dad had it there."
"Well, if I'm in our bathroom when he comes in from the pool, he takes a shower in there. How much did you put in?"
"About a fifth of the jug. Like it says. I can't get the plug thing out, to see if I can get what's in there. Probably some hair."
"You should tell Dad about it. He's got a thing to stick down in there and dig stuff out."
Let the record show that The Pony has barely had a haircut since he left for college FOUR YEARS AGO! Just a couple of trims. His Fabio hair is longer than my lovely lady-mullet! But wavy instead of stick-straight.
Farmer H came in from mowing the yard in the rain, to shower us with his wisdom. I mentioned the drain issue, and he jumped right up. Once a Manager of Facility Maintenance, always a Manager of Facility Maintenance! The Pony trailed after him, giving advice on what he'd done, and the inability to get the pop-up drain plug out.
I heard Farmer H ask for a PLUNGER! The Pony also seemed a bit perplexed.
"A PLUNGER? Like, for the toilet?"
"A plunger works for any kind of drain. Not just a toilet."
I heard the plunging commence. Water running.
"Use cold water, Dad. Mom has to take her shower."
That's my little long-maned Pony! He trotted into the living room. I turned sideways a bit, so as not to be rude and talk with my back to him. What I caught in my peripheral vision was the stuff of nightmares!
THE PONY WAS HOLDING A WAD OF HAIR THE SIZE OF A GUINEA PIG!
"EEEEEEE! Get that way from me! PLEASE! NOW! I'm going to be sick! My mouth is getting all watery!"
"This?"
"YES! Get away!"
The Pony stroked it as if it WERE a guinea pig!
"It's just the hair from my brush. About two weeks worth. I should clean it out every week. Wavy hair really sheds a lot."
"Wait. That's out of your BRUSH?"
"Uh huh."
"Still. I don't want to see it. But I thought you were playing with wet hair out of the drain!"
"No. Just regular hair."
Yes. The Pony has a special brush. Not sure what species it was designed for.
5 comments:
Oh, HM--You had me laughing out loud, and that doesn't happen too often when I'm reading something.
When I initially thought it was hair from the drain, I was going to suggest that probably there were bits of toenail clippings embedded in the wad of wet hair.
Is The Pony a young man... or Cousin Itt? has he considered selling his hair to wig-makers?
Let The Pony know, from the daughter of a plumber/gas fitter, hair should NEVER be allowed to wash down into the drains. NEVER NEVER NEVER. It's one of the worst things you can do to your plumbing. Whenever he has finished showering or bathing, he needs to scoop up fallen hair from around the drain and throw it in the bin.
I remember the day I asked my youngest son "what is the most important thing to remember about housekeeping?"
His answer was "have enough butlers" which we both laughed at, then I reminded him the most important thing is to look after your drains.
Sioux,
He bears a striking resemblance to Cousin Itt! Don't make my mouth water again... over the TOENAILS! Just this morning, I said to The Pony, "Your big toenail looks like a talon!" To which he replied, "And what would we see if we looked at YOURS?"
NAY! I shall not have The Pony speak to me in that manner!
***
River,
I will inSTALL that information in The Pony, but I can't guarantee it will BREAK him of the habit!
The worst clog I found in a drain (not from a HORROR standpoint, but from an operational standpoint) was a SUPERBALL! One of those colorful hard rubber balls that bounce forever. Or until they land in the drain of the bathroom sink.
The little Future Veteran had been throwing it against the walls of our narrow bathroom in my $17,000 house, when he was about 7. I think I stabbed it with the end of a steak knife to remove it. Of course he knew nothing about how it got there!
I'm surprised a superball would fit. Don't your drains have cross grids on them? Surely they aren't just open holes?
River,
The superball was one of the small ones, about the diameter of a quarter or large gumball. Like kids can "win" out of a game like the one in Little Caesar's when I told The Pony I was tired of standing there, HOLDING HIS BALLS. Or you can buy them out of a little machine like a gumball machine by the exit door in grocery stores.
Anyhoo... our drains have cross grids in them about 3 inches down. There's usually a plug thingy that you pull down by lifting a little metal stick thingy between the hot and cold handles. Gosh! It's so hard to describe!
Anyhoo... our drain plug was pulled out, since we didn't really want to run a sink full of water in the bathroom, having young boys playing around in there. That superball was just the size of the drain hole. I couldn't get a fork down beside it to lift it out. It blocked the water except for a very slow leak. So I just STABBED IT to get it out. Which was quite satisfying, actually. Farmer H was working at the time. The boys were spending their summer two weeks with us, and I was off from teaching.
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