Sunday, July 26, 2020

Every Mansion Has A Pooper And This Mansion Has Two (PART 1)

Sweet Gummi Mary! My cup runneth over, and not with anything pleasant.

You might recall the slight problem we have with Farmer H leaving his mark on the master bathroom toilet. Well. We're still having that problem. He refuses to take responsibility.

When illuminated on the recurrence of the issue a few days ago, he snorted. SNORTED! As if to belittle ME for mentioning it! Like it was a total figment of my imagination. Like I was trying to frame him while on the stand in a court of common law!

"Dad. I've seen it too!" Thank the Gummi Mary, The Pony is observant while waiting for the reservoir to fill for his nightly soak in the big triangle tub.

That shut up the poopetrator momentarily, but only because he was outnumbered.

It happened again yesterday. When once again I brought the issue to light, as Farmer H was walking across the living room after his dip in Poolio... he was less than receptive.

"Oh, lordy! Here we go again."

"It's on the back of the seat. If you can't see it, get my magnifying glass. But don't touch it to the poop!"

"I think you're seeing things."

On he went. Leaving the door to the bedroom AND bathroom open, of course, for changing out of his SpongeBob boxers that he wears for swimming lying on the air mattress, floating in circles.

"Huh. You mean this little SPECK?"

Um. Yes. A little speck of poop is still POOP!!!

"YES! How would YOU like to sit in a 'little speck' of MY POOP? Not very much, I'm thinking."

Funny how everything is MY fault around here! Except the second pooper. Coming tomorrow.

5 comments:

Sioux Roslawski said...

The same things happens here. Except we have only one bathroom. My solution? I clean it up with HIS towel, since it is HIS poop.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
NO! I'm the one who handles and washes the towels! I guess I would rather have it repeatedly attack my ample rumpus (such a large surface area that a miniscule amount might be insignificant) than my hands and arms, which get around.

Sioux Roslawski said...

Oh, I stay away from his towel. It's done unspeakable things, so I never touch it. (He washes his own towel.)

River said...

So did he then clean off that little speck? And how little is little?

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
OH MY GOSH! Now I'm even more horrified, to think of Farmer H perhaps, um... FLOSSING his private area with his towel!

***
River,
He cleaned the speck, but a shadow of it was left! It was about the size of a piece of shredded coconut off a Snowball snack cake.