Because They're Selfless Like That

Hillmomba is a sleepy little burg. Like Mayberry. Out of the limelight. Not a lot happens here. Over the past month, riots have broken out in towns south. One of Farmer H's Storage Unit Store customers got arrested for throwing a bottle. The police booked him, and strongly suggested that he not return to the town square, and offered to escort him home, for his own safety. I think he was angered about abuse of a flag, triggered because he'd lost a son in the military. Which still does not justify throwing a bottle at the town square.

Anyhoo... that area is over 30 miles away. Farmer H saw the happenings on Facebook. We don't know why that town was chosen for shenanigans, but we do know that participants were bused in for the conflict. On more than one night.

The next event was over in Bill-Paying Town, 20 miles away. No incidents. Peaceful demonstration.

Another one was a block away, from the $5000 house, where HOS (Farmer H's Oldest Son) lives now. He walked uptown. Said there was some shouting back and forth. Not many people. No violence.

The clerk at the Gas Station Chicken Store has been looking for a personal defense implement. She drives from farther up north, about 30 miles, which I will call Elevated Ledge. She said she was worried, because Hillmomba sits right on the highway, and was likely a target for future demonstrations. She visited the Storage Unit Store, but found nothing small enough for her liking.

Last week, the event was at the post office across from the School-Turn Casey's. Farmer H was driving by, and saw them. A lot of young girls, he said, waving signs, running their mouths, trying to provoke. Nothing really happened. Nobody took the bait.

Well. Hillmomba was awakened from its slumber. Tuesday morning, Farmer H informed me that a protest was scheduled uptown.

"It's supposed to be uptown this afternoon."

"I'm glad you told me. I was going to write out the bills and mail them, but I don't want to run into that mess. Besides, what if they shoot off fireworks into the snout of the mailbox? [The Dead Mouse Smelling Post Office is across from a little park. Uptown.] I'll wait another day. I don't want my bills incinerated."

Because, you know, Farmer H didn't say there was going to be a peaceful outpouring of support uptown. He said a protest. There are protests, and there are riots. You never know which one you're going to get. Even sleepy Hillmomba has hot-heads.

Anyhoo... I got to town about 1:15 and didn't go uptown. I went to the Gas Station Chicken Store and Country Mart. Farmer H was in town to get gas for the lawnmower. He ordered Casey's pizza to pick up at 5:00, with his Rewards offer that would run out on Wednesday.

Next thing I know, it's around 5:00 and the house phone is ringing, and it's Farmer H.

"Them protesters are here at the corner of Casey's."

"Oh, no! Is the pizza okay?"

Heh, heh. I may or may not have actually said that.

"Are you in the middle of them?"

"Nah. Looks like they're just getting started. Looks like a bunch of kids. Maybe 8 of them."

By the time Farmer H got home, I had found a picture of the protest on a local Facebook page. They were standing in front of CeilingReds, with the parking lot of the Gas Station Chicken Store over their shoulder! Oh, no! The clerk at the GSCS is afraid of protests! As I said, she'd been worrying about it for weeks.

"You know, we're right on the highway. I don't want no trouble. I'm afraid of what might happen. But I WILL protect myself if they surround my truck."

Just her luck, she'd been put on the 1:00 to CLOSE shift on Tuesday! So here she was, with all those protesters (all 8, of the kids) out front, for her to fret over until closing.

Anyhoo... there was nobody opposing the protesters at that time. So they were just standing on the side of the road with their signs on posterboard from Walmart. Farmer H said he saw city police and state highway patrol cars. Probably more cops than kids. He knew one of the cops, who told him, "This is their one chance. We'll protect both sides in case of trouble, but any further gatherings, they're on their own."

I don't imagine there was any trouble. All I saw later were a few people sitting on their vehicles across the road, at the liquor store. One man walked over to talk. An officer came up and persuaded him to go back to the liquor store.

A local restaurant even had a sign out front, offering protesters a free sandwich. A free KNUCKLE sandwich.

Methinks they doth protest too near. Hopefully they're done, since this event fizzled out.