Leave it to The Pony to push the envelope. To go boldly where no Hillbilly has gone before. The child who would only eat four food groups (hot dogs, butter, bread, and Happy Meals) has gone out on the libation limb and tried something new.
CHOCOLATE WINE!
I know! Who would have thunk it? He chose it for himself when I let him out at The Devil's Playground with a list and my debit card. I DID give him permission to get wine. I did not specify any restrictions. It's not like I drink it. Though The Pony DID bring a glass down to my lair, and offer me a taste. By offer, I mean he shoved it under my nose, said "Mmm!" and put it to my lips.
Let the record show that I first said, "UGH!" Then took a sniff. Then a taste. Then said, "It reminds me of something. I think it's YOO HOO (a chocolate flavored soda), with an alcohol aftertaste."
To be fair, it was better than any other wine he has made me taste, and better than the assorted unnamed wines in tiny pill-dispensing cups that we voted on at my sister the ex-mayor's wife's Christmas party game.
But the BEST thing I can say about the chocolate wine is:
I'M PRETTY SURE IT WASN'T MADE BY SOMEONE STOMPING THEIR BARE FEET IN A VAT OF FRUIT!
5 comments:
Chocolate wine? That's new.
I'm pretty sure the foot stomping wine making method is not used for commercial quantities, but wouldn't put it past any hillbillies with a vine full of grapes and too much time on their hands.
Of course you're right. No one stomped on fruit to make that chocolate wine.
Instead, they used their toes to crack open the cacao beans. Toes with cracked and thick yellow nails. Toes with toe jam in-between the toes. Toes that are... Well, you get the picture (hopefully ;).
River,
My grandpa raised grapes and made jugs of wine. I really hope he didn't use the STOMP method!
***
Sioux,
I am certainly glad my stomach was empty when I read that. But you still can't turn me against CHOCOLATE!
I will only think of I Love Lucy and Willy Wonka today...
Bluebird,
I was thinking of Lucy!
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