Whoopsie! Did you stumble on Tuesday night? Around 7:55, when the earth stopped spinning on its axis? If you did, I extend my apologies, although I am not admitting fault, nor taking responsibility for injuries real or faux. Don't come a-knockin' on my Mansion door while wearing a neck brace, to serve me papers for a negligence lawsuit.
I had no hand in your money-grubbing disabledness! I only had a suggestion. A request.
The shampoo of choice around the Mansion is Herbal Essences Color Me Happy. Surely you have realized by now that Mrs. HM's lovely lady-mullet is color-enhanced. I wouldn't say it colors me happy, but that's the unfortunate name ol' HERB of Herbal Essences has chosen for his shampoo. The only choice that could be worse is: Gee Your Hair Smells Terrific. But I digress, to the '70s.
Anyhoo... my color-happy shampoo now comes in a giant pump bottle. The label says it's also SOAP now! What a multitasking marketing genius ol' HERB is! He's a sly devil as well, since the pump thingy doesn't reach the bottom, and a good half-inch of shampoo lolls at the bottom of the bottle while the pump squirts air.
We had a replacement bottle waiting. I put it in the shower Tuesday morning, and set the old one on the side of the big triangle tub, by the spigots. I later asked The Pony if he would get out the new bottle at bath time, and pour the remains of the old into the new. There was room for it. You don't think ol' devil genius HERB would fill his bottles completely to the top, do you?
The Pony was puzzled at first. He's not renowned for his common sense.
"You mean pour your shampoo into a soap bottle? Or pour soap into the shampoo bottle?"
"No. Take the old bottle of my shampoo/soap, and pour what's left into the new bottle."
"Um..."
"It's CALLED shampoo and soap! It's the same thing! They just say you can use it for soap now!"
"Oh. I though you used that bar soap I bought for you. The Irish Spring."
"Yes. Some. But not on my face."
"Okay. So you want me to pour the old into the new. I guess I can do that."
"You have two hours! You'll be doing it over a tub full of water. What could go wrong?"
* * * * *
Back to bath time...
Let the record show that The Pony generally submerges himself in the big triangle tub around 6:30 or 7:00. He relishes bath time, relishes it until 8:30 or 9:00.
TUESDAY, THE PONY APPEARED BEHIND ME IN THE KITCHEN AT 8:00!
"Hey! What are you doing? You never get out of the tub this early. I have things set to record on the DVR at 7:00 and 8:00. I thought you'd be in the tub. Now it will make you watch them."
[No HOPPER for us! We can record two things at once, tops. The first job is sent to The Pony's receiver, the second one to the big screen downstairs.]
"I don't care about the TV. I'll be on my computer."
"So why are you out early?"
"Well. There was a little problem. Some of the shampoo spilled into the water. And with the jets running, it foamed up WAY too much! I couldn't stay in there any more. It was up to the top, and with the jets it was making more suds."
I can believe the accident angle. I can also believe a scientific experiment was underway.
4 comments:
So, The Pony doesn't like bubbles, eh? How much did he spill in, that made so many bubbles he had to cut his soak time by an hour?
(I always add some water to the end of the shampoo or liquid facial soap bottle, to get the tail-end of it.)
Sioux,
More like The Pony doesn't like being buried under a mountain of bubbles while sitting in the dark in the master bathroom, being buffeted by the jets, and waiting for another toothpaste tube to fall. I think the bubbles would retard the operation of his cell phone.
I used to add water to the boys' shampoo bottles, so they could... um... play with bubbles in the tub. Wait a minute!
I'm still not convinced it was an accident. Remember, The Pony was trusted with tiny bottles of polystyrene nanoparticles that cost $500 for 15 milliliters. If you're not sciency, that's like the amount you could get in an eyedrop bottle. So he's had experience working in a lab where not-spilling was expected.
I'm picturing The Pony staying in the tub until the suds filled the room then not being able to find his way out, as I've seen in an occasional comedy movie. Slip sliding away across the bathroom floor, magically not hurting himself as he searches for the doorknob, then spills out of the room trailing a mountain of suds.
River,
Heh, heh! That made me think of Lucy, when she baked that LONG loaf of bread that stuck out of the kitchen and into the living room.
I imagine the suds rose higher than the sides of the tub, and The Pony had to let the water out or risk them spilling onto the tile. He definitely wouldn't want to expend any energy cleaning that up!
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