I really thought I had outsmarted Farmer H and our Financial Advisor. After all, I'd told the secretary that I wouldn't be staying for the whole appointment, and I'd informed Farmer H that I would be driving separately.
I really hate this yearly meeting. So much fat to be trimmed, while Farmer H and Financial Advisor would rather sit around chomping on it. Farmer H forbid me to schedule a PHONE appointment, which was offered this year. And he wanted a day that Financial Advisor was there himself, and not a conference with his daughter, who is taking over his business.
My other errands went smoothly (better than I expected), and I arrived in front of the Financial Advisor's office at 1:53 for a 2:00 appointment. We've gone in early before, only to cool our heels out front until appointment time, even though no one else was there. So I decided to sit in T-Hoe's comfortable driver's seat, rather than in an uncomfortable plastic and metal chair. I didn't see SilverRedO yet, so I picked up my phone to send myself a picture for later downloading.
THERE WAS FARMER H!
He appeared out of nowhere. Or, more accurately, from across the street, where he'd parked so secretively, even though there were 10 spaces in front of the financial office. He stood leaning on T-Hoe's hood, forcing me to go in early and wait in the butt-numbing chairs.
BUT NOT!
Because Financial Advisor himself was at the door, calling for us to come on in. SIX MINUTES EARLY! Of course I translated this into six more minutes of torture. We went directly back to his conference table. Farmer H commented,
"Oh. You've got new chairs since your daughter came to work for you."
"Yes. She said we needed to update the office."
The chairs LOOKED more comfortable, but they were not! Although upholstered in fabric, they still had a hard feel to my ample rumpus, and the armrests were way too low for a normal person to rest their arms. They were like decorative armrests! Also upholstered in fabric.
Anyhoo... while waiting for The Daughter to join us at the appointment time, Farmer H and Financial Advisor started chatting about The Virus, and office protocols, and workplace edicts. Then The Daughter joined us, and joined in. A couple times, I dropped a hint that I was only there to SIGN NECESSARY PAPERS, and then I'd be leaving. Finally, Financial Advisor told The Daughter to put the accounts on screen.
SWEET GUMMI MARY! WILL TECHNOLOGY NEVER CEASE?
A giant big screen as large as our TV was mounted on the wall. I had to turn my head sideways to see it. There was precious little room between the table and wall to turn the whole new upholstered chair. My neck being swiveled did not help my headache at all. Even worse, I could not quite focus on the number columns. It was too far for my regular eyes, and my glasses didn't help. Not the regular part, nor the bifocals. So I just squinted, getting that nauseous feeling you get from overworking your peepers when you have a headache.
I asked a couple of questions about my investments, and then was ready to sign the paperwork and go. But wait! The Daughter made a startling reveal!
THERE WAS NO SIGNATURE NECESSARY!
What in the Not-Heaven? Did I attend an appointment that I didn't have to? They all acted like I had to come in. But usually there's a signature. Saying, perhaps, that my investments had been discussed, and I chose to continue with the current procedures.
I made a hasty exit, after first hauling myself out of that uncomfortable chair and letting the circulation return to my legs. I have no qualms about letting Financial Advisor, and now The Daughter, make my investment decisions. That's what they're professionals about. Surely they want the most for my money, since they get a cut.
Anyhoo... Farmer H did not return home for another hour or two after I got there. I guess they had a lot of time to shoot the bull and chew the fat, since the secretary said most people don't want to come in for an in-person appointment these days.
Oh, and Farmer H said he really enjoyed talking to The Daughter. "She likes guns!"
3 comments:
You and the Daughter should have joined forces... She likes guns and you probably felt like shooting somebody after going to an appointment where your presence was not necessary AND after sitting in an uncomfortable chair and having to swivel around your head.
They should have told you no signature was necessary! You could have stayed home in comfort and quiet with no Farmer H for at least two-three hours. Next year I suggest asking by phone the day before if your presence is required.
Sioux,
We DID have a good rapport. She sat across from me, and occasionally cut eyes when Farmer H and her dad started ranting. We didn't get to the gun talk while I was there this time, which is just as well. I know nothing about them, and I'm not particularly interested. I only take note when I hear how valuable they are!
Even a comfortable chair, and a paper document, could have only held me another five minutes.
***
River,
I KNOW! I mentioned ONLY LONG ENOUGH TO SIGN THE PAPERWORK every time I talked to them! I guess maybe if we had made changes, there might have been a fresh printout and a signature.
I think it's corporate policy that they have to do an annual review. But a phone report could get the job done, with my verbal agreement to continue as is.
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