Saturday, November 28, 2020

Aspiring Comedians, Get In Line

I stopped by the Casey's next door to Farmer H's pharmacy next door to the Gas Station Chicken Store on Friday. They're next door, if you can hop over a moat and a side street. But there are no buildings in between them. Perhaps I'm a bit lax in my understanding of next door.

I'll tell you something else that might be lax. Some people's understanding of comedian. Seems there are a few who frequent that Casey's. Or maybe they were just stopping by on Thanksgiving to pick up the essentials, like pizza and beer.

Anyhoo... I went in looking for a crossword puzzle scratcher for The Pony. Of course they didn't have one. This Casey's has gone downhill over the past year. They are not dependable with their scratcher selection anymore, and the clerks seem to have broken give-a-darns. Or else they're all out of EFFs to give.

The older lady clerk, who is always congenial with me, pulled the two tickets I asked for. You know I couldn't go in there and leave without buying any scratchers! As she scanned them, she had a hiccup. Then another, behind her required mask. 

"Oh, no! Here we go again! I had them for two hours last night. You wouldn't believe the number of customers who advised me to quit drinking on the job."

Yes. I would. People think they are funny. Harder to believe is that the wearing of the mask didn't help her hiccups. Same as re-breathing your carbon dioxide from a paper sack.

3 comments:

River said...

Snap! I've had hiccups three times in the past week. But I've been at home each time with no mask on.

Sioux Roslawski said...

There you go! Another source of income to supplement your pension. You can claim to have the cure for hiccups. For a small fee, you will send them that advice: wear a mask for a while. Breathing the same air in and out will probably make the hiccups stop.

My PITA heard a woman in a store say to her friend, "My mask stinks... like my mouth." There's a genius in every corner...

Hillbilly Mom said...

River,
Did you try a spoonful of sugar? That's the cure our Home Ec Teacher (heh, heh, that would drive her crazy, our FAMILY AND CONSUMER SCIENCE TEACHER) shared at the Semi Weekly Meeting of the Newmentia Lunch Time Think Tank. It worked on my kids. Of course, I'm not responsible if it kills diabetics...

Perhaps you should try drinking a glass of water from the wrong side. Be sure to stand over the sink! I always did the paper bag breathing, which worked for me.

***
Sioux,
Hey! There's a genius in THIS corner, Madam! I said that about my own mask the first time I wore one, at my doctor--I mean nurse practitioner--appointment in June. Or May. I KNOW I got the resulting 3-day headache (sore throat) from breathing my own foul breath.

Supposedly a dog's mouth is cleaner than a human's. And you know where THEIR tongue has been!