Monday, September 20, 2021

If Only I Could Pin A Note On His Shirt Saying He's NOT ALLOWED To Have Sweets

Farmer H is what the French call "les incompetents." NO WAIT! That's what the Home Alone boy's sister called Macaulay Culkin's character, Kevin. Farmer H is what the nurse practitioners call "non-compliant." He does not follow their instructions for taking care of himself. His last office visit revealed his A1C to be 7.3. In the past, it's been around 6.8. And previously 6.2. To hear Farmer H tell it, his old doctor was thrilled to death that it was in the sixes. Well. Nobody is thrilled now. 

Anyhoo... Farmer H said she wants him to talk to one of those (I can't even remember how he mangles the name, but he means endocrinologist) to tell him what kind of diet to eat. I'm pretty sure a regular dietician can tell him that, but they don't get as much money for it. Besides, Farmer H KNOWS what he's supposed to eat. It's not like I haven't reminded him for 15 years. In fact, he doesn't even have to be so dang strict with it, if he would only CUT OUT DONUTS AND CANDY BARS that he sneaks every day.

Seriously. Farmer H eats more sugar than Augustus Gloop and all those Willy Wonka kids combined. I daresay that he eats more sugar than a junkie could mainline into an uncollapsed vein. Yet he wants to point the finger and blame everybody else. Like the nurse practitioner, who should be more thrilled about that reading of 7.3. Or ME, who he berates whenever his blood reveals his sticky secret, saying that "I can't eat THAT! You know I'm not supposed to have carbs!" Like when a baked potato is served with a steak big enough to choke a horse. I guess those donuts and candy bars and 36 Christmas themed chocolate bars (that disappeared in ONE WEEK, aside from the five I laid out for myself, and finished last week) and Christmas cookies and chocolate covered raisins and individual ice cream cups are SUGAR FREE? 

Anyhoo... I haven't been buying Farmer H his treats, save for the individual ice cream cups, for months. He keeps bringing home auction treats. AND I know he gets donuts every morning. And a candy bar every time he stops by Casey's for gas or to use their bathroom. He can't be like The Pony, and buy a Hot Nut Tube. Always gets the sugar.

Well. Look what I discovered on Sunday morning:

 
It was sitting on the cutting block, while The Pony ate chicken tacos with garlic and spicy oil for his breakfast at 9:30. He SAID because he FORGOT to eat it for supper last night. Let's not even get started on that issue. Anyhoo... The Pony said,

"Have you tried Dad's brownies? He bought them at the auction last night. They are not good for him at all! He really shouldn't be eating them! But he already had a piece last night. I'm having one now, with my tacos."

"Huh. I did not know that he bought them, since this is the first time I came upstairs since he got home. I'll probably try a piece tonight with my supper. Not my garlic taco breakfast..."

"They've got the mini marshmallows, and chocolate chips, and caramel!'

Turns out Farmer H paid $7.50 for that pan. It's very heavy. He said some young girls brought baked goods to sell. The first item went for $35! It was some kind of strawberry shortcake cake, maybe? I forgot. Then their other three items went for $7.50 each. They probably didn't make much money on those, after considering their cost to make them.

Anyhoo... I don't know how to break it to Farmer H and The Pony that they are not eating "brownies." That's a Mississippi Mud Cake if I ever saw one! My mom used to make them all the time. Very dense, and very sweet. She had a different icing, and the marshmallows under it so they melted when she poured it on. But the taste is the same. And it's still just as bad for Farmer H.

5 comments:

Sioux Roslawski said...

It sounds like Farmer H is his worst enemy.

Here is a link for a decadent recipe, but it has no sugar in it.

https://www.thekitchn.com/easy-copycat-rx-bar-recipe-256203

If you'd rather buy them, you can find them in Target and probably Amazon--RXBARs. The sea salt and chocolate ones are really scrumptious. They get their sweetness from dates and are addicting...

River said...

I'm not diabetic, but my blood glucose is too high, (about 6.5 -7.5) so I try not to eat sweet stuff, it just pours itself into my mouth when I'm not looking. Anyway, I bought one of those testing kits and found the level was fairly consistently high whether I ate sweets or not, so I stopped testing for a few months. Last Saturday I tested first thing in the morning and really happy to see the result was 5.4 The difference was I'd been skipping lunch, by having a later breakfast, so I'd had no bread for a week. Now I'm wondering how much sugar is in the bread I buy and deciding to stick with the later breakfast/no lunch routine. And I will stop buying biscuits and chocolate. Again. Apparently the ideal reading for a non-diabetic is about 3.0

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
The thing is, I used to buy Farmer H the sugar-free candies, and he ate them ALONG WITH REGULAR SUGAR-FIED SNACKS! It wouldn't be so bad if he didn't eat the forbidden stuff EVERY DAY. A little treat, maybe one a week, along with some protein to slow down the sugar rush, would be an improvement.

***
River,
Heh, heh! That naughty sweet stuff sneaking itself into your mouth! I'm sure there's a lot of sugar in bread. There's way more sodium than you'd imagine, as well. Farmer H acts like he has no restrictions. He doesn't stop at one donut every morning. He gets two or three, plus the candy bar! I guess there are so many treats that they overpower him.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

I am quite familiar with his logic, being married to his brother from another mother. Thank goodness that sweets are not entirely off his menu, given his love of a good chunk of chocolate anything. Ice cream is his enemy, his cholesterol is NEVER anywhere approaching anything looking normal. Unfortunately, we have ice cream in the camp store and now that the seaso has come to an end, he feels it is his duty to eat what remains, lest it be wasted.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Kathy,

That ice cream's not going to eat itself!

Farmer H got a call from the nutritionist or whatever his NP eventually referred him to. I said, "IF you make an appointment with her, I can imagine you nodding your head, agreeing that you understand... and then going right back to your two (or three) donuts every morning. You KNOW what to do. You just don't do it. I don't know how she can help you with that."

He might make the appointment. Since it's a woman. He will take time to talk to a woman about anything.