It was unbelievable! Like a fever dream! Only Mrs. HM had no fever. No sickness at all. Nothing to cause hallucinations. She's lucky she didn't inflict future festering wounds on her skin from pinching herself to test whether she was awake.
Farmer H dropped me off for my doctor nurse practitioner appointment at 7:59 on Tuesday morning. I took the elevator to the 3rd floor, where there's a bathroom right next to the elevator. After making use of the facilities, which had been freshly mopped and cleaned, I took the elevator down to the 2nd floor, where my appointment was.
It was 8:05, and the window was OPEN! A cheerful young gal asked for my insurance card and ID, which I was already holding out to her. She typed in the info, and made copies. I told her I had tried to do the online check-in on MeChart, but it wouldn't take my policy number.
"Oh, that's okay. Some people can do it, but others have a lot of trouble and can't get it to go through. I'll just ask you the questions, and you can sign on that little box."
It was SO EASY! Took less than five minutes. I asked if I should make my co-pay, since there was a sign on the window saying payment was due at the time of service.
"No. This shows you don't owe anything. It's considered a yearly wellness appointment."
Can't beat THAT with a stick!
I sat down in the middle of three chairs to discourage company. It's not like they were busy. There were three more chairs on the other side of the window. At the stroke of 8:15, a nurse opened the door to the inner sanctum, and called my name. She was quite young, and very patient as I hobbled in to be weighed, and directed to an exam room.
Nursie pulled up my account on the computer. Reviewed my meds. Said she had to ask me the Medicare questions. Then asked if I wanted a flu shot, pneumonia shot, ColoGuard test, or mammogram. No, no, no, and no.
"But I WOULD like to know what I need to do to get a handicap card to hang on my car mirror."
"Oh, we have those right here!" She grabbed a set of papers from the shelf and gave them to me. Then set about pinching a pulse-ox on my finger, pointing a thermometer at my temple, and taking my blood pressure. She was quite pleasant, and not at all anxiety-inducing. From the time she left until the doctor nurse practitioner came in, it was less than five minutes. I was looking over the handicap papers when NP came in.
"What do I do, just fill these out and send them in?"
"I need to sign it. Of course I will do that for you!" He signed the form and handed it back. Then asked if I needed refills. Said he would schedule me for the lab upstairs for bloodwork. Listened to my lungs and gut. Looked in my ears. Made small talk for a while. He's really a personable guy. Then said they'd contact me with the lab results, and see me in six months.
From there I went back to the 3rd floor, where I was THE ONLY PATIENT AT THE LAB! Well. For about two minutes. Then five more people showed up, but I was there FIRST, by cracky!
The phlebotomist called me within five minutes. She was an older woman, though probably not as old as me. She liked both my arms, but chose the left. She was a normal conversationalist, not like those cold fish who won't speak to you while sucking out your blood. Didn't hurt a bit.
It was 8:50 when I went downstairs to be picked up by Farmer H. I think that was the best experience I've had at a medical appointment since my old retired Army doctor left the clinic to work for the VA.
5 comments:
That is an excellent visit! but I wonder why you would say no to the flu and pneumonia shots? and the Cologuard test, isn't that the one where they check for bowel cancer? If I was developing bowel cancer I sure would want to know about it so they can fix it before the point of no return.
River,
I had a flu shot EVERY YEAR while I was teaching. The last year I took it, my right knee swelled up like a basketball within 4 hours of getting the shot. A couple days later, the left knee did the same thing. My doctor said that it happens sometimes. The inflammatory response that builds your immunity from the vaccine can localize anywhere in the body where you already have inflammation. Such as my knees. Anyhoo... I figure that I am around so few people on a daily basis now that I'll take my chances with handwashing and face not-touching until I wash my hands.
My mom had a reaction to the pneumonia shot that made her shot arm swell to twice its normal size, and turn bright red. Her doctor told her to never take the pneumonia shot again. I've never had one, and don't want to take a chance on having the same allergic reaction to whatever is in it.
I took the Cologuard test before, and was charged over $700, even AFTER the doctor assured me it was covered by my insurance. I even had the school insurance rep fighting with the insurance company over it, but it was not covered. After I paid over $700 for it, I never even got the results! Farmer H's brother actually had colon cancer, which was not detected by his Cologuard test, and his surgeon told him it is virtually useless as a diagnostic test, due to false positives and false negatives.
You are welcome to take all the tests and shots I turn down! They're not a one-size-fits-all kind of thing. There are actual reasons some people don't blindly submit to everything the doctor offers.
I don't get the flu shot either. I have had 2 in my life and the first one I got while I was pregnant and didn't know I was. This is how Jill got a twin brother. Must have messed with my hormones and I ovulated again. Jeff was about 3 weeks behind Jill in development. Then I got one while Daddy was sick and got Shingles. The male doctors said I was crazy, but every female doctor I have agree with me! I have to submit to a colonoscopy due to my family history. I would be amazed if the cologuard test was accurate. Mammograms at least every 10 years!! I figured I breast fed 5 children and that decreases the liklihood of breat cancer and thank all that is holy that pelvic exams are in my rear view window!
Thank you, I understand why now. We get free bowel screening tests sent by the government every two years, the age used to be everyone over fifty, but now it is forty, we send in our collected samples and get a letter back saying nothing untoward has been found.
Kathy,
It's like nobody wants to believe the ill effects had anything to do with the shot you just got! Each body is different. Some are perfectly fine, others have heightened immune responses.
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River,
There is usually a reason that I do or don't do something! Then there's the other 1 percent of the time I just have a hunch or an inkling or a bad feeling that affects my decision. I'm glad your government takes your poop for free!
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